Connect

19: Summer

I just want him to say something.

I wrung my hands nervously, hoping for some sort of reaction from Kaito. I was somewhat relieved, now that I had told him, but waiting for his response was nerve-racking.

"Gumi," he exhaled. "I'm sorry."

I blinked. Was that a no?

"I can't," he continued, shaking his head.

That was it. He said that and that was it.

"W-Wh..." I stuttered, wringing my hands even more.

"I can't," he repeated.

"Why not?" I found myself demanding more than simply asking. Kaito's response surprised me.

He sighed, raking a hand through his hair. "It's...Len never told you, did he? I guess he and I both failed to realize that you felt this way."

"What're you talking about?" I cried out. "A-All these girls, the other day, they were telling me about how they confessed their feelings to you and you...you turned them down but you never told them why!"

"I'm seeing someone else," he answered quickly. "I'm only telling you because of who you are relative to Len."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Kaito opened his mouth and then stopped. Then he parted his lips again.

"It was supposed to be a secret," he said. "Nobody was supposed to know that I was already in a relationship. Can...Can we head up?"

I nodded, feeling ashamed for holding him back and being childish and emotional. We started up the stairs. I walked alongside him.

"Why would you want to keep that a secret?" I asked quietly. "Wouldn't the girls leave you alone if they knew?"

"They wouldn't," he answered. "But that's not the point. The point is, I can't be in a relationship with you, Gumi. Not like that."

"The way you say it sounds so rehearsed," I mumbled.

"I've said 'no' a lot," he replied.

I bit my lip, stumbling up the stairs. I wasn't feeling that same breathlessness that I used to feel around him, but my chest ached. I wanted to cry. I was so stupid, not paying any attention to what those girls had said, or what Len had said.

Len...Len knew that Kaito was already with someone?

"It hurts," I whispered without thinking.

"I'm sorry," he replied.

We reached the top of the stairs. He looked at me. I looked at him. His face was almost expressionless, but there was a hint of sadness in his eyes, like he didn't want me to be hurt.

I watched as he shifted his weight forward and slowly raised his right arm, putting his hand on my shoulder. The action made heat surge through me while also letting tears fall from my eyes. I kept looking at Kaito.

It shouldn't have been a secret. If I had known that he already had someone, I never would've fallen for him in first place!

...Right?

'You can't force feelings.'

Would I have fallen for him, anyway?

"Kaito..." I started to cry. "I shouldn't have told you."

"Don't regret anything, okay?" He said suddenly. "Now we both know, right?"

I nodded. He smiled sadly and pulled his hand back.