Purple Roses ° Sirius Black ✓

07 | the best for you and me

✿ ✿ ✿

𝓓𝓮𝓪𝓻 𝓢𝓲𝓻𝓲𝓾𝓼,

I made a mistake.

I made the mistake of writing
in my journal in the common room instead of in my room at night
like I always do.

I was almost done with my
homework when I decided to take out the journal Jason gave to me last year. The one I have been writing to you all this time.

Oh Sirius,
I never realized when you sat
beside me with the rest of our friends.
I was so caught up in my own head when that I didn't realized I was surrounded.

It wasn't until James said something
that I jumped, scared. You laughed
and asked what I was doing.
I opened my mouth but no sound came out.

❝what were you doing, Sam?
Writing me a love letter?❞ James said when he notice how pale I got and
how I push the journal to my chest.

❝leave her alone, Potter, can't you see she's doing her homework?❞
Lily, my redhead angel intervine.

It only took for James to hear
her voice to ignore everything else and focus on her.

But that wasn't enough.
Oh no.
You still had questions and
when you wanted something, you didn't stopped until you got it.

❝what were you writing, Sammy?❞
you asked and I felt my body go heavier. I had my heart in my throat,
beating so hard I could barely hear anything else besides the pounding.

Remus must have notice this and he became my second angel.
Thank Godric for his quick thinking.

❝it's my journal❞
he said and everyone looked at him
❝i'm working on something and I asked Samantha to review it❞

Everyone believe it and left it alone.
I gave the journal to Remus so
it could look more credible and he
put it in his ropes, away from the wondering eyes.

After what it seemed to be like
forever, Lily demanded us to be in bed already. Everyone got up and
said their good nights, you leaving a
kiss on my head as you walk to your dorm room.

Remus and I were the last ones to leave. He gave me my journal back and I couldn't help but hug him tight.

❝be more careful next time, Sammy❞
he said with a smile before leaving me speechless. He just winked at me
and I swear, he might have been
one of those muggle people in stories that can read your mind.

Oh Sirius,
I don't know what could have happened if you saw what I wrote.
If you saw everything that I write about you.

I would not be able to face you ever again if you read this journal.

It might be the safest thing if I stop writing. It might be the best thing if
I let go of this feeling I have
every time I see you.

Maybe I'll stop. It's probably the
best for you and me to kill these emotions. I don't want to get hurt.
I know you could never hurt me,
but I don't want to give you the burden to reject me.

I don't want anyone to find this
journal and use it against me.
It wouldn't be fair.

It's for the best, I hope.

Goodbye Sirius.

𝓢𝓲𝓷𝓬𝓮𝓻𝓮𝓵𝔂,

                            𝓢𝓪𝓶𝓪𝓷𝓽𝓱𝓪