A New Life (COMPLETED)

Chapter 22

Jenika sat in her room, looking out over the mountains, reminiscing of the good and the bad that had gotten her to this point in her life.

Moving to Nashville had been a lifelong dream of hers but when her music wasn't selling and the gigs with other musicians were few and far between, she'd become a nanny to pay the bills. She enjoyed the children, teaching them to read music, play instruments and to sing. But she began to rethink things when the family she worked for decided to move to England. Being away from family in Wisconsin was nearly unbearable as it was, but she needed to stay, to find herself again.

So much had happened since making that decision. She'd met up with an old, dear friend who she nearly lost forever. She became friends with a group of musicians that accepted her, protected her, and ultimately became family.

And then there was Tim, always watching over her, believing in her when she didn't believe in herself, helping her through so much of the stressful times as tour manager. He always coaxed her to continue her writing and playing, telling her to never ever give up on her dream.

She had questioned why she felt embarassed, guilty of the way she had acted towards Drew, why she didn't want Tim to know what he tried to do to her. She now understood what her mother had told her, that knowing, that feeling of not being able to live without that someone. It was clear as a bell, that someone was Tim.

But, would he feel the same. He had loved Caroline so deeply, she was his life. Would he allow himself to love again, had he promised her to never love another. So many questions ran through her mind, the most concerning was would she, could she, ever measure up to the kind of woman Caroline had been. She had pushed through everything that had happened to her. The attack, the tumor not only once but twice, the cancer treatments, the strength she had to endure all of it was utterly amazing. Jenika didn't feel worthy of even the slightest remote possibilty that Tim could care for her to that extent, or that he wanted to.

****
Kris, Don, Chance and Tim met in the hotel restaurant. They'd found the coincidental fact they were staying in the same hotel amusing.

Tim thought of the irony of meeting again after all these years under the same circumstances that initally brought them together as they were directed to their table.

"How are you feeling Kris" Tim asked, pulling the chair out for her to sit down.

"A bit tired but I'm doing ok" she smiled as she took Dons hand before sitting. Tim recognized the signs of unsteadiness. Both Chance and Caroline experienced that almost daily, especially more so when they were fatigued.

Tim sat to her right while Chance seated himself to Don's left. After placing their drink and dinner orders, Don wasted no time in asking Chance about his diagnosis and recovery. He not only was greatly interested from a medical stand point but as a caring husband who wanted nothing but the best possible care for his wife.

"You really are in good hands with Dr. Lynch, he saved his life" Tim commented, playing with his drink.

Kris looked at him, she knew what was going through his mind, wishing he had saved Caroline's too. "Tim..." she said quietly, placing her hand on his.

He stared at his drink, "I feel her with me, ya know...I talk to her every day. Guess that sounds crazy huh...its been almost five years now..you'd think" he stopped talking.

"She will always be with you, especially here" she told him, placing her palm on her chest. "That will never go away. But you're afraid, aren't you". He looked up slightly. "Tim, you will never forget her. I know how much you both were devoted to each other, but I also know she would not want you lonely. Life goes on, we have to accept that. And if we're lucky, well, sometimes another comes our way to fill the void left from that loss. And, I believe, that those who have gone before us guide us towards that other special someone"

"No one will ever replace her, Kris" he said, now playing with the food on his plate the waitress delivered.

"No, Tim. No one will ever replace her. But someone will love you, her memory that you hold and will help you live again. But you must let go in order to move on. You know that's what Caroline would want" she told him.

Soon Don and Chance turned their attention towards their meals and a less serious conversation. Chance looked at Tim with a furrowed brow as if to ask if he was ok. Tim nodded as he mulled over what Kris had said.

Once dinner was over and they were all heading towards the elevators, Chance commented on leaving for Alabama in the morning for a few days now that he'd been medically cleared. He shook Don's hand and gave Kris a hug, expressing his pleasure in meeting them and reassured them she was in great hands for her treatment.

Don gave Tim a hug, telling him he was happy to see him and how proud he was that he had followed his dream in music. Tim merely thanked him for everything that he had done and his encouragement.

Tim then looked at Kris, worry in his eyes. She was so very special to him, he hated to see what she was now facing but knew she was strong and if anyone could beat this, she could.

Kris embraced him tightly, "have a good life Tim" she whispered in his ear before slipping an envelope into his coat pocket unbeknownst to him before stepping into the elevator and saying goodbye.

Chance placed his hand on Tim's shoulder, "You ok buddy?"

"No but I will be" he quietly replied.