accidentally meeting you [rilaya au]

11

riley was sitting across from maya in her bed, a place she never thought to be with this girl that she was falling for. after all, she never believed that maya had feelings for her. she was just that good at hiding everything: the abuse, the sadness, the tears, the bruises, everything. even now, she sat in silence, her face resting in her hands, her pink cheeks becoming more pink as she cried. her sobs were silent and soft, but riley felt those emotions hit her like a truck. it reminded her of what just happened to her. maya's own father took advantage of her. he raped her. she just couldn't manage to cry over it. she felt nothing. she was numb, but deep down, she knew she was hurting. she just forgot how to feel for herself.
"uh..." riley muttered. "do you need a hug?"
maya's blue eyes peered through her fingers, holding eye contact with riley. she knew that this silent moment was actually her screaming out to be held close, being together with her as if they were one. riley reached out as maya fell into her lap. her hands fell into maya's hair, brushing through it as she hummed softly to try and calm her.
maya sighed. "i'm so sorry that i didn't do anything. i just couldn't move. i was in shock, and i will never forgive myself for not trying harder."
riley placed her finger onto maya's lips to hush her. "nothing is your fault. your dad is just..." she stopped to collect her racing thoughts. "sick."
maya stayed underneath riley's finger, waiting for a moment before placing a gentle kiss on it. riley could tell that maya wanted to sit up, grab her face, and kiss her again just like they had in the bathroom. she was respectful, though. she knew what just happened to her, and she knew that riley couldn't manage to do that with her. she couldn't be intimate, and maya seemed okay with that. she was thankful for that, thankful for her.
"maya..." riley finally spoke. "how long has that been going on?"
maya sighed, sitting up as she reached for riley's hand to find a sense of comfort.
"oh! you don't have to tell me. i don't mean to be pushy. if you aren't comfortable, you don't have to say a thing."
this time it was maya's finger that laid upon riley's lips, a small "shh" escaping from her rosy lips, to silence her anxious rambling. her eyes searched riley's body as if it was looking for signs of danger, but after a moment, she seemed less tense. she learned to trust riley in those few seconds, and it made the brunette feel special. she knew maya never trusted a soul. she didn't even tell anyone her actual name, but here riley was with all of that information and more. riley had become maya's journal, and honestly, she was okay with that.
"for a long while now. my mother died, and he picked up drinking just like every man does. he didn't want to move on, but instead he wanted to drink away the pain. he succeeded. he lost his sense of humanity. i became his punching bag, and there was nothing i could do to stop that. i was once his little girl that he wanted to protect, and now i have become what is used to relieve his stress and anger," maya told. "it hurts. he's the one who was supposed to protect me from all harm, but now, he's the cause of all of my pain. i couldn't even finish school on time with the amount of times i have been bedridden from the beatings, and it hurts. i'm nineteen, and i'm a junior. i'm so behind. he doesn't care about that. he took my innocence and dictated my self worth as if he owned me. sometimes he says he owns me. i'm not my own person. i'm a product of his dead wife, and seeing that must make him suffer. he must still care somewhat if he hasn't killed me or left me for dead when he beat me until i'm black, blue, and broken. there are times where he will clean up his mess left behind from the strength of his punches and kicks. he cleans up the blood and brings me ice for my bruises. he apologises every time, so maybe he does care about me more than i think."
riley sat there, trying to wrap her head around the story she was told. she could hear the heartbreak in maya's voice as it cracked and shook with each word she spoke. everything she said to her was raw, and anyone could tell that she was holding that in to finally tell someone. she was left speechless. her heart was heavy with the pain and troubles maya explained to her. she wasn't as numb as she thought.
after sitting together quietly for a while, maya finally spoke again. "exactly. it's dumb. it's dumb that i think he cares. it's dumb to even open up to anybody. no one truly cares. they only want to use you, not help you. they want to see you suffer and cry, not smile and laugh."
riley scooted in closer, her face so close that maya's began to blur. "your laugh is my favourite sound. i could tell that everything you said was raw and left locked up in a chest that only you could open, and you decided to trust me enough to open that chest and let me peek inside. i'm honoured to be the person you trusted to tell your story. you don't deserve to be around that. he doesn't love you, but people out there do. i mean, shit, i might even be in love with you. i care, and i can't let you go back there. i wouldn't be able to live with myself if i saw you in that household ever again. live with me, please. let my family and i protect you and show you what it means to be loved."
maya began to cry again, and it was hard. the tears were flowing like waterfalls, and it was ugly. crying was never beautiful, and it was even more unattractive when riley remembered how much pain and terror they were triggered by.
   riley felt selfish for being mad at maya for crying. she felt like should be the one crying, not her. she was the one who just got raped. she was the one who should feel all of the pain, not her. after all, she hid all of her emotions before, why couldn't she just do it again now? earlier she cared about maya's tears, but now she wanted to be the only one who was broken in this moment. she wanted the attention and didn't want to give it to the blonde mess sitting across from her.