The opposite character

Chapter 4: "You guys are assholes".

Later that afternoon, I made my way to the bleachers of the football field. Where Christen and Liam usually hung around the rest of the team and their girlfriends or latest flings.
   I always made sure to go later when most of them jocks had left and it was usually just Liam and Christen waiting for me. I didn't exactly have a stellar relationship with any of the jocks although I knew a fair number of them knew about me, as Liam's girlfriend's crazy best friend I got a non retractable unspoken invite to all their exclusives. So yeah we crossed part a lot I even had classes with some of them, sometimes they acknowledged me when they recognized me about campus, other times they didn't and at all times i could have cared less mostly because I liked my company a little more subtle and private even though I wasn't any of those things.
    When I got to the bleachers I found Catherine and Liam throughly swapping DNA, gross. " your blood group's probably an AA by now", I hollered at the top of my lungs climbing up the bleachers to meet the now broken apart blushing couple.
"I know", Chtisten giggled smiling at Liam, "something about kissing Liam just makes me healthier"
Liam grinned like a fool and went in for another kiss, I dutifully allowed it for half a minute before I threatened to drench them both in my piss.
  "You're moodier than usual Chels", Christen observed when she and Liam finally broke apart.
I frowned, "how can you be living a fairytale when I'm stuck deciding which crime I can pull off better"
"Oh yeah, what are your options" Liam asked stretching across four seats.
   "1. I could murder professor Callahan so I don't have to do his stupid assignment. 2. I could do his stupid assignment, fail it then get someone to hack into his system and change my grades"
"Murder", Christen declared inspecting her perfect nail polish, " if you do number 2 you'd actually have to do the assignment which we already know is a waste of time"
" you scare me sometimes babe, honestly " Liam said with a look of pride on his smirking face then turning to me he said, " you'd probably make a really sloppy criminal so which one would you not go to jail for the rest of your life for when you get found out".
" Such little faith in me", I huffed, " i have reasons to believe i would be a stellar criminal, infact maybe i should just drop this whole college struggle and begin a life of crime"
"And give up on your dream of becoming the biggest unbothered celebrity Hollywood has ever seen, i don't think so", Christen said " what did Callahan do this time".
So I told Chrissy and Liam half of the story, i didn't tell them anything about having to actually become an opposite character of myself because Christen would only see it as a legitimate chance for a Chelsea makeover and i just needed her to be on my side and be the voice of reasoning that turns down all my brilliant murder plans and reminds me that i actually enjoy theater.
   ' it's not actually that bad, Chels", Christen said, " I'll help you i know exactly about all you're not, it's basically me"
I rolled my eyes, " I only ever talk to people that are seventy percent me character wise, you know that Chrissy because you do it too"
"True", Christen agreed after a moments thoughts," I can still help though, I will make a list of everything that you are. It will be long and terribly frightening but factual, you're welcome" She smiled blindly at my now scowling face Liam chuckled and pecked her making that face of overwhelmed love. This two were absolutely toxic for my system.
"Alright", I agreed beginning to see a little bit of light in the dark dark tunnel,  "that could absolutely work and now that I'm fretting about it anymore can we go get something to eat before I disintegrate into a replica of Brittany the broomstick".
  Liam howled at my statement smacking his palms on his laps and coughing out a choked laugh. " I thought I was the only one that noticed", he said. "Are you calling me blind", i shot back at him. Christen shook her head looking dissapointedly between Liam and I as we exchanged funny, partially offensive Brittany related bants.
" You guys are assholes".

hi guys don't be like Chels and Liam but let's also not pretend to be saints all the time. Can you believe I updated? Short chapter but give me a medal anyway.