Nightingale

Suffocating

This is all because of  you! None of this would've happened...none of it! You. Must. Pay.

I opened my eyes and quickly sat up. I frantically looked around the room, making sure he wasn't there. I took a breath and calmed myself down. I was mad at myself for falling asleep—I knew better. But sometimes it was difficult to stay up. Everyday I felt myself getting weaker. The lack of sleep was only making everything worse, it was exhausting.

I put my back against the stone wall and closed my eyes. I knew I couldn't continue to live like this. At this point, I wasn't even living. I was existing. I was stuck in a hole and I kept digging myself deeper and deeper. I had no one to talk about what happened in Storybrooke. My mom and Paul had lost their memories. I hadn't talked to anyone from camp in months. I was isolating myself so no one could get hurt. I had already lost too many people...I couldn't let anyone to get close to me.

I felt my chest tighten and it was getting harder to breathe. I opened my eyes and I tried to take a breath but I couldn't. I quickly stood up and ran out of the room. I ran through the maze of training tools and past the sleeping figures of Narnians. I ran up the slanted pathway that led outside. As my feet hit the grass, I stopped. I breathed deeply and put my hands on my head. I looked up and the sky was turning a pale blue. I lied on the ground and stared at the sky. The grass was wet from the morning dew. I saw sunlight peeking through the trees...some of the Narnians might be waking up soon. I inhaled deeply. It was nice not having anyone else around, sometimes I felt overwhelmed. This place was bringing back so many memories that I missed so much.

I wondered how everyone was at Camp Half-Blood. Annabeth—I hadn't seen her since the last time I was at camp. That was an awkward memory. She was quiet, she didn't really seem like herself. I wondered if Annabeth was happy with Piper. What could Piper give Annabeth that I couldn't? When did they start having feelings for each other? I remember when I fell for Draco, it was like he was the only person that mattered. After all that Annabeth and I had been through, literally Hell and back, I wondered why I was able to forget about her so easily when I was with Draco. Maybe it was like that for her with Piper.

But how did Jason feel about it? Did it make him jealous? I hadn't heard much about him at all. I knew that his personality had changed since I wasn't at Camp Half-Blood. I remember Leo saying that he was "still a jerk." I guess I was just another person that needed to get out of his way. He never really did settle right with me, even when we spent all those months together on the Argo II. Those months could've been used to get closer to him, to get to know who he really was. I guess none of that would've really mattered in the end.

And Nico, he seemed happy when I saw him at camp. Hopefully he'll find someone to take care of him. He was there to take care of me when I came back from Hogwarts.

I shuddered. That was a time that I didn't want to think about. Hopefully I never had to see Harry again.

But there was something that was still bothering me. Was Lucius still here? Was he so focused on revenge that he wouldn't stop? Suddenly, my arm burned. I held it against my chest and shut my eyes, waiting for the burning to go away. I counted to twenty, and it faded. I was able to breathe again. I opened my eyes and decided to check my arm. I lifted up my sleeve and the word that he carved in my skin was still there. It looked like it was getting worse. I hadn't wanted to look at it because I was hoping it wasn't true. Hoping that what Lucius did to me was a nightmare. I pulled my sleeve down, trying to force out his laughter that was echoing in my head.

"How long have you been out here?" I heard Caspian's voice.

"I don't know." I said as I looked at the sky. I didn't notice before, but the sun had finally rose past the trees.