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Chapter 12

At the very moment, Jake was still with Hannah, trying to help her clean up. Her makeup had run down her face, leaving dark streaks as her deep burgundy lipstick was fuzzily smeared around her mouth. He ran his fingers through her hair, trying to detangle some of the knots that had formed as she clung to him.

Jake had only calmed her down a few moments before, rushing her to the bathroom before anyone could see her. Hannah didn't want anyone to see her that way, so broken and vulnerable. She had carefully crafted a public imagine, the strong and independent Hannah who people looked up to and admired. Four years of work could be destroyed in a few moments, and she didn't want that.

The sink turned dark and the two scrubbed the remnants of her makeup off. Jake rifled through Hannah's backpack, finding some wayward makeup and a couple of hair ties. Hannah carefully applied the makeup, or as carefully as she could manage because Jake stood behind her, tugging at her hair in an attempt to make it look halfway decent. Once he had managed a ponytail, she continued on with her makeup. It was minimal, but anyone looking at her would probably think she had gone for a 'natural' look.

"You look...better." Jake suggested.

"I look as good as it's going to get." Hannah gave herself one last look in the mirror, playing a little bit with the loose tendrils that framed the sides of her faces. "Which isn't very good admittedly, but it's as good as I can be. People might give me a little side eye, but no one is going to really think anything of it."

"Come on slugger," Jake threw an arm around her shoulder, "We need to get you to class because lunch is almost over. You only get so much leeway and we both know you've been pushing it recently."

"Whatever." Hannah laughed, but all that joy seemed to leave her as soon as entered the hallway. It was something Jake had noticed, she seemed to close herself off once she left the comfort of his and his grandmother's company. "As you said, we need to get to class. Pay attention and I swear I will come after you if you don't start working harder on Calculus. By the way, if Tomas asks-"

Hannah froze, nearly knocking Jake down when he tripped on her foot. Not one hundred feet before them, Tomas was walking down the hallway. That in and of itself wouldn't have stopped Hannah, she probably would have turned and run in the other direction. Tomas was not alone however, he walked with two girls, laughing as his eyes never left the one on his right. The other girl, Olivia, said her goodbyes and parted ways, though Tomas' attention remained on Laura.

Hannah knew that this had been her fault. She drove Tomas into another girl's arms, she had pushed him away and avoided him. Though it hurt her to see him with Laura, she understood and a part of her knew it was probably for the better that he was with a girl like Laura. She seemed sweet and funny, and Hannah imagined she wasn't keeping such a huge secret from him.

"It's all my fault." All of Hannah's usual strength seemed to leave her, "Why didn't I just tell him, why didn't I just kiss him? No, I shouldn't have kissed him but I also shouldn't have run away. Tomas deserves to know the truth before he gets into anything. We have been friends far too long and I just-I just didn't want to lose him."

Jake had been begging her to tell him for years, more for her sake than his however. "So you're going to tell him?"

"No, it's too late for that."

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Olivia said her goodbyes to Laura and Tomas, who were getting a little too close for comfort. There wasn't much she could do about it however, she had class to get to. Laura was a big girl and Olivia only hoped she could handle herself.

~~~~~~~

Laura, on the other hand, could not believe that Tomas was paying attention to her. She had always thought he was cute, but she never imagined he would be flirting with her. Everyone knew that Hannah and Tomas were basically a thing, even if it wasn't official. She never imagined she's stand a chance next to Hannah, who was arguably the most beautiful girl she had ever seen.

Hannah was beautiful and confident, everything Laura had always wanted to be. Unlike Olivia, whose love of art and passion drove her, Laura wasn't sure of anything in her life. She was an average student without any really passion or direction and she found Hannah's conviction intimidating, almost as intimidating as Hannah herself.

Being so caught up in Tomas, Laura didn't even notice Hannah watching them.

"...I kid you not, it was the funniest thing I have ever seen." Laura and Tomas laughed together, oblivious to the world around them.

~~~~~~~~

Tomas stopped at the door, he had offered to walk Laura to class. She was nice, and incredibly pretty, and for a little while, he forgot about Hannah. Laura was nice and easy to talk to, part of him wished he reciprocated her feelings for him.

Part of him wished he hadn't seen Hannah watching them, looking so heartbroken and betrayed.

He knew whatever was going on with her, she needed space from him.

"Thanks." Tomas felt oddly serious, "You guys didn't need to sit with me, and I'm sorry I've already said this a dozen times, but I appreciate it more than you can imagine. It sucks when you're the perpetual third wheel, when your best friends are loyal to each other over you."

"Don't say that." Laura lay a comforting hand on his shoulder, which he brushed off after a few seconds of contact.

"It's true, and I understand. They are family, and I'm just their friend. Of course when Hannah is upset with me, Jake is going to take her side over mine. I understand, it just doesn't make it hurt any less. They have each other, but who do I have to fall back on? They are my best friends and the only people I have in this school."

"Well now you have me, I promise you are more than welcome to join Olivia and I if you ever find yourself in a situation like that." She took a few steps closer to him, getting real close as she whispered, "More than welcome."

Tomas knew what was about to happen. Laura wanted to kiss him, he could see the look in her eyes waiting for him to make a move or signal for her to make one of her own. He just couldn't do that to Hannah, he loved her far too much and it wasn't fair to Laura.

Something in his mannerisms must have given he a signal because she closed her eyes and leaned in, ready to kiss him. He contemplated for a moment about being someone he wasn't, someone who used a girl obviously interested in him for the selfish purpose of forgetting the girl he really loved. That meant hurting both of them and making him feel better short term, it wouldn't be hard.

Instead he took a step back, "I can't do this."

"What." Laura pulled back, looking hurt, "Sorry I-"

"It's not you, it's me as stupid as that is. I'm not in the frame of mind to do this. Have fun in class."

Without another word, Tomas disappeared among the crowd of students and made his way to class.