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Chapter 22

As the two spoke, Laura trailed behind, lost in her thoughts as Laura considered how thankful she was that she wasn't in sight. The guilt had been eating at her, which only made her lash out further. She hated what she had done, both in that bathroom and afterwards. The shame of giving in and going against herself had propelled her to lie, hoping to shut both of the witnesses up. Laura wanted nothing more to take it back, both of her mistakes.

The self-loathing reared its ugly face as Laura hug back, her friends chatting obliviously. She had become someone she hated, the lies she made up about Sam were horrendous after the breakup but it was this one, finding the two in the girls bathroom, that truly stung her.

"Earth to Laura," Olivia waved her hand in front of her best friend, trying to catch her attention.

"What?"

"We have class." Laura became aware that they stood in front of the door to Psych. Tomas was still with them, looking at the wall beside them awkwardly. "Tomas was just trying to excuse himself and he wanted to say goodbye. Oh, and to vote for Jake for Prom Court. He said he felt bad leaving when you weren't paying attention."

"Sorry," Laura groaned, she was totally into the guy and yet she couldn't stop making a fool of herself. Just her luck.

"No, I'm sorry," Tomas muttered bashfully, "Um, yeah. Vote for Jake, and whoever Cheryl nominates."
"Cheryl's not running?" Laura was about to owe Olivia twenty bucks, she had bet Cheryl would sweep Prom and Homecoming, but she wouldn't win if she wasn't running.

"Nope, she got suspended like last week or something. It was something about skipping class to make out with some guy in the..teacher's lounge? I don't really know the specifics. Back to why that means she can't be nominated, you can't run or be nominated if you've been suspended within thirty days of Prom." Tomas explained. "Cheryl's a little pissed off, but it's her fault."

"Huh, that's weird-" Laura began, but Olivia cut her off.

"Ugh, the bell is about to ring so Tomas, you need to run to class." Olivia groaned checking the time on her phone, "We'll see you later. Go. Run. Now."

"Hey, Olivia-" Laura began again but frozen when she saw her.

She didn't even know the girl's name and she had destroyed her reputation. Even time she walked into Psych, her eyes found the girl and she spent the rest of the period trying to turn her guilt into anger. Anger was easier for her to feel, it didn't eat her up upside in the same way guilt did.

"Ignore her Laur, she doesn't deserve your attention," They took their seats and as Laura' eyes remained glued on her, Olivia remained quiet, "You know, I've been thinking."

"About what?" Her response was automatic as her attention remained everywhere.

"You deserve to forgive yourself for what happened." Laura had been living her life in the time since the incident in pain, a bleeding heart that lost more and more as time passed, "You can't keep holding on and going about the way you are."

"Forgive myself for what?" Laura's heart fell. She had turned her full attention to Olivia, suddenly realizing she was about to lose another friend. Her lies had caught up to her and the one person she had left was about to turn away from her.

"You know what Laura."

Laura grabbed ahold of Olivia and dragged her out of the room. Ignoring her friend's protests, Laura led Olivia to the bathroom and scared everyone else out. Two poor little freshman were terrified of the senior, as was Olivia. She had never seen Laura act like that.

"I'm so sorry I never told you." Laura cried, her hands shook as she spoke. "Everyone else turned on me and I didn't want you to. I was so ashamed that I gave into Sam pressuring me. She walked in on us and then I was so terrified people would find out and before I knew it, the words and the lies poured out."

"What?" Olivia felt as if the wind had been knocked out of her.

"Please forgive me. I wish I had confessed earlier, I've hated keeping all of it inside. Lying felt bad but seeing her everyday and knowing she was living with the repercussions of it is far worse."

Olivia had simply meant the guilt of being with someone like him. As far she knew, Laura had been telling the truth about what happened. Laura had been so distraught that it happened, and Olivia had figured the people who stopped being friends with her did so because they sided with Sam. Suddenly some the small, snide comments some of their old friends had made in passing began to make sense.

"Laura what did you do?" There was a pleading in her voice, hope that maybe Laura was joking. Olivia saw the serious, vulnerable look on her friend's face and knew that she wasn't lying. Not this time at least.

"I couldn't stand the thought that I had given in. I hated myself more than you can imagine. Then to look up and see her, to be caught in the act, I hated myself a thousand times more." A bit of relief showed on her face, telling the truth had been freeing. A weight had been lifted from her shoulders. "So I lied, I told everyone that the roles had been reversed. I didn't mean to, it just came out. I wanted to take it back as soon as I said it, but I couldn't without sounding completely crazy."

"So you let them believe your lies?"

"What other choice did I have?"

"Telling the truth?" Olivia was floored at her selfishness. "I can't believe you did this. She did nothing to deserve this treatment, you took everything out on her. Dammit Laura," Someone knocked on the bathroom door, "Go away! Come back in five, this bathroom is out of commission."

Whoever it was scurried away, so Olivia turned back to Laura, "You were my friend, I stood by you when no one else did. I trusted you and I took your word and you still broke that trust."

Laura knew where this was headed.

"So you don't want to be friends anymore, huh?" Laura nodded, forcing a strained smile to her face. "I understand, I ruined everything. You're probably right to give up on me, I'm hopeless."

"You don't get to play the victim here." She wondered if Laura had always been like that, so quick to blame anyone but herself. Memories flooded her of little moments she had brushed of, comments that didn't make sense at the time, and she realized this pattern of behavior was more like Laura than she would have thought. Still, "You need to stop this but, you're still my friend. I'm not going to turn on you for this, you've stood by me just as I stood by you."

Laura jumped to hug her, happy that Olivia had forgiven her. Instead of welcoming her with open arms, Olivia recoiled.

"This doesn't mean you're forgiven or that I'm okay with what you did. It's going to be a bit before we can be as close as we were because frankly, I don't like who you are as a person. I can't stand to look at you right now." She had made up her mind, as much as she loved Laura, some things can't be forgiven. This was one of them. "I'm only agreeing to continue being your friend on one condition. You have to make this right, as right as it can be."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means you need to apologize to her, tell everyone the truth."

Laura should have do this a long time ago Olivia though, looking at her shaking friend. A small part of her felt a pang of sympathy, but she swallowed it down. Laura couldn't get away with this much longer, Olivia would make sure of it.

"I can't do that," Laura protested, she had lied far to long to just tell the truth, "Everyone will hate me."

"Everyone hates her," Olivia pointed out, "And she did absolutely nothing wrong. Plus, I won't hate you. It's a brave thing to do, you have to have courage to admit to doing something wrong and speak up. Do you care what a school full of strangers think, or your best friend? The person who stood by your side after everything?"

It was silent for a few moments. Olivia had scared off anyone who might have dared to come in. The leaky sinks drip-dropped but even among silence, they were almost inaudible. Both waited for the other to speak, until Laura had enough and broke the silence.

"I guess I'd rather a school full of strangers." Laura stormed out, leaving a shocked Olivia behind.