I can't stop thinking about what Calum said to me when I opened the door back in my dorm room. My heart skipped a beat. That may sound really cliché but it honestly did. He called me 'B' and I felt like melting right there on the spot. That's the cutest nickname anyone's ever given me, even though it's only one letter and isn't even clever whatsoever - I find it adorable.
After debating on whether we should take a taxi or not, we finally made it to the club. We ended up taking one so nobody had to be the designated driver. I can feel the music pounding against my chest. Dark figures can be seen dancing without a care in the world.
On the way here, I was convinced that I should just let loose and live a little - meaning I should get drunk. I agreed because after all, that is what I've desired for so long. I want to do different things and experience new feelings. I want to have fun and be reckless.
As I make my way to the bar, dancing sweaty bodies press and rub up against me. I don't mind though, it's a Saturday night so it's obviously crowded. Calum and Luke sit at the bar and because of the lack of room, Cassidy and I stand behind them.
I can't help but think how lucky I am to have found trustworthy, amazing people to befriend. I could've been stuck with a snobby roommate who just wanted me to leave her alone and didn't want to be friends. I am very pleased to even have friends and I'm surprised that they're as excited, or even more, to be friends with me. And they aren't just letting me follow them around, they're including me and making me feel almost better about myself. I'm glad that I'm included rather than excluded and 'out of the loop' - for that I am thankful.
Calum orders shots and hands each of us one, raising his in the middle of the four of us. "Happy Birthday B," he says, winking at me. I look down at the clear liquid and remind myself that I just want to have a good time tonight and this will help. We all clink our glasses together and down the shot. I've never done shots, hell I've barely drunken alcohol. My parents let me have a sip of their drinks on occasion but since I had like two friends that I would only sit with at lunch, I never did anything like this. I tilt my head back, bringing the glass to my lips and letting the liquid run down my throat creating a burning sensation. I didn't hate the feeling but it would get some getting used to.
Calum ordered who knows how many more shots and has already made us drink at least four more. I can feel a slight buzz but clearly it hasn't hit me yet. Cassidy disappeared after the third shot, following some guy with lilac hair.
Luke leans over and whispers something about dancing in my ear. I nod, hoping I heard him right through the loud music. He stands up (and almost falls down in the process due to his alcohol consumption), picks up my hand and leads me out to the middle of the dance floor. I look at all the people around me and watch how they're dancing and grinding against each other. I wasn't exactly sure what to do since I've never actually done this kind of thing before - but I decided to go with whatever. Clearly the alcohol is kicking in because I've never decided to do something that takes so much confidence.
With my body pressed tightly against his and his hands on my waist, I start swaying my hips to the beat of the music. My entire backside is pressed up against and I took advantage of it - grinding as close as I could be to him. My hips swayed around in circles with his. Our bodies rolled together in sync and I pressed my back up against his chest as well. I could feel his grip tighten on my waist, trying to pull me closer as if it were possible.
His hot breath fanned onto the back of my neck, making me lean my head back onto his shoulder. I brought my hand up to hold the back of his neck, closing my eyes when I feel his lips make contact against the skin of my neck.
Luke spins me around, immediately connecting our lips. I feel like something is wrong but I ignore it and kiss him back anyways. My experience with kissing is very limited. The only time I've actually kissed someone was in 8th grade during truth or dare and I had to go in a closet with this kid, Tyler. We only made out, so that was my first real kiss. Technically, I had my first kiss in preschool - but that was just a peck so it didn't really count.
But this, this felt real. Not a rushed or a pressured hook-up. With Luke, this was somewhat meaningful. I don't know if 'meaningful' is the correct word, but the alcohol is making me think about things differently. I shook off any doubts or worries flooding into my brain and just let go.
