Shower Thoughts

Boys, Boys, Boys

"Of all the animals, the boy is the most troublesome and most fascinating"- Apricot Plum
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I was contemplating the long ignored question which plagues the mind and soul, seeping into the system until it fully consumes you, compels you, takes control of you; the sleepless nights and rampant voices in your head that refuse to silence.

But alas, the answer is no where to be seen and I'm getting real tired of doing this shizzle.

I honestly don't know what the kerfluffle was going on up there, was that a failed attempt at trying to sound intelligent?

Most likely.

What is up beautiful spuds of wattpad, did you miss me?

I know you did, I shouldn't have even bothered asking *le hair flip*

If you bothered reading the title of this chapter you must be wondering:

What makes Ms. Single as a pringle qualified to talk about boys?

Nothing.

I am the most unqualified person to come to when you have any problems, you'd be better off getting advice from your biology teacher than from me.

But today I'm not going to be dishing out my awesome advice, today I'm going to talk about the wonderful male things that make up the senior class of the 2018/2019 academic session, AKA my setboys.

Now, there used to be two classes of boys in my set:
1. The stupid, annoying, irritating, horny perverts.

2. The manageable/really cool ones

But all the um.... Sensible people have either relocated or transferred to another school so we are left with the first category.

I don't even know how to start talking about them because they are special kinds of snowflakes that can make you want to commit suicide after a brief interaction with them.

For example, last year, all the boys in my class collaborated to make the 'Emerald album' featuring their original songs such as: 'Rebeby (a parody of Legbegbe)', 'Super Eagles', 'Oni dodo, oni moimoi' and my personal favorite 'Put that Dirty pant On the Highway'

Yes, these are the actual names of their songs.

And it's as if the universe just hate me because my class this year is basically 80% boys.

Meaning more stupid songs, more idiots to deal with, more nasty pick up lines, more cringey rap battles and more set boyness.

One advantage to this is that our class teacher is constantly praising the girls, since the 7 of us (yup, only 7 girls) are constantly cleaning up their messes, but the disadvantages outweigh the advantages.

First of all, they are constantly talking about either football or girls.

Now, I can handle the football talk but I swear if I hear another remark about how Angel has a mad shape and perfect body, I am going to castrate each and every one of them.

And the worst part is that they think we can't hear them talking about our friends in such a demeaning manner.

I used to think boys had very intellectual conversations that I, a dumb, wacky female, could never comprehend. That's was until I walked into class on a beautiful Thursday morning and heard them arguing.... About who has the best whatsapp dp.

I cannot even begin to explain the immense level of stupidity I go through everyday.

Another thing about having such a small number of girls is that the boys can do whatever they want because there aren't many girls to talk sense into their thick skulls and make them responsible humanly beings.

Remember I told you about their stupid songs? Well they are in the process of making another big hit titled 'Solution'

And let me not even get started on their rap battles.

I'm legit crying as I'm writing this because those rap battles though......

It would be nice if they Y'know, had something called talent but they don't and they don't even realize it.

How can someone say:
"Last night I met your mommy,
"The way she slapped me was not funny,
"It hurt very bad in my tummy"

And expect a round of applause and a pat on the back?

I'm not joking when I say that the level of lack of basic common sense among my setboys is very very very low.

Lower than Buhari's health for that matter.
Lower than Nigeria's economy.

And it's very painful because that is supposed to be the future of our nation.

And the worst part is that they're not even fine.

In fact I'm getting so frustrated already so I'm gonna end this here.

*le consumer du donuts*