Forbidden Love

Chapter 2: Lost cities, Lost hearts

*You got five new voice messages*

“Hey Taylor. It’s me Kar. Just wanna know when we can meet again. I’ve already missed you and Meredith...but mostly you. *laugh* I don’t wanna bother you, just... text me as soon as possible! Love you lots k? Kiss kiss”

“Hey Taylor! I’m going out with Josh, well, just having a short trip into the forest. Remember that heart sign we carved on the tree? I had just walked by it today. And suddenly I missed you so much. Love you girl!”

“Hey Taylor. It’s Kar again. How are you? Are you still on the plane? Text me as soon as you can sweetie. I love you”

“Hey Taylor. I swear I’m gonna kill you if you hang out with Selena again. Nah I’m just kidding. But seriously I’m getting jealous Taylor, and fucking mad at your Taylena or whatsoever shippers”

“Why haven’t you answered me? Never mind, I just missed hearing your voice. Text me as soon as possible hun.  I think I’m getting obsessed”

Taylor smiled. These messages just got her speechless. “Can Karlie get any sweeter?” .

Put her phone back in the handbag. “Take a deep breath Taylor, take a deep breath”. She stepped out of the plane, where there were hundreds of paparazzi waiting for her, all looking like some kind of predators trying to snatch their victims. Wave, smile, and wave. Being a celebrity meant you had to look perfect in every situation. Even when you were tired, or pissed off, you just had to keep your image clean. I thought I were used to it. But my heartbeat was still running off its track

“Look at me Taylor”
“Slow down Taylor ! Lemme get a picture”
“C’mon Taylor! Look at me, look at me!”
“Smile Taylor, smile! That’s right”

I walked fast through the traffic and got into my car, which was waiting to get me to the hotel. Mom was already in there.

“Are you tired sweetheart? It was a long flight, wasn’t it? But you have to make sure you feel well enough for the award show tonight. We have to get changed as soon as we arrive. Rachel just sent me a photo of your dress. It’s perfect for you. But I think green is gonna make you look pale. The make-up team can fix it, definitely ”, said Andrea. She stopped talking the minute she realized her daughter wasn’t even listening, “You look terrible. Get some sleep on your way, baby”

“No I’m fine mom”, I faked a smile and tried to act as natural as possible, but there was a voice that was currently pumping in my mind “I’m missing Karlie to death and I don’t care about all the award shows. I wonder what she was doing right now...”

Yeah, right. I hadn’t texted her back.

Not wasting any second, I immediately took my phone out of the handbag. I had to try so hard not to call Karlie. “Mom is here. Mom is here”, I kept reminding myself to resist the urge that had grown bigger and bigger every second. Finally, I texted:

“Just got off the plane. Too tired to use emojis. How about going to the beach in Miami right after you’re done with the Nylon photo-shoot? Btw hearing your voice after a long trip is the best thing ever. You’re cute, #justsaying. Ilysm”

I couldn’t help smiling everytime I texted her.

Five minutes later, I got a reply

“Ahh I’m gonna slay you in my pink dot bikini!!! Who’s your partner to the award show tonight? Hope it’s Austin. Oh and just so you know, I’m currently messing up in your kitchen, trying to learn the notorious baking kungfu you refused to teach me. I nailed it. Made a chocolate cake for you. Ilym bby  #justsaying”

There was a picture attached to the message, a picture of Karlie making a funny face expression in a mess full of wheat flour, sugar, eggshells, and a so-called chocolate cake . On the cake there were a few words which were (supposed) to be “For you, Taylor”, but I misread it into “Fuck you, Taylor”

I couldn’t help but laughing out loud.

I put on the earphones, closed my eyes and ignored all the other things that were happening around. Sometimes you just wanted to be simple again. Shuffle mode was on. And the song that was currently playing, unintentionally, described perfectly what I was feeling right then

“You said it in a simple way,
4 AM, the second day,
How strange that I don't know you at all.
Stumbled through the long goodbye,
One last kiss, then catch your flight,
Right when I was just about to fall

I told myself don't get attached,
But in my mind I play it back,
Spinning faster than the plane that took you...

And this is when the feeling sinks in,
I don't wanna miss you like this,
Come back... be here, come back... be here....
I guess you're in New York today,
And I don't wanna need you this way,
Come back... be here, come back... be here.”

 Andrea looked at her daughter and realized something strange was happening to her. The shining eyes, the happy smiles, the same expression Taylor had when she talked to someone she’s into.
Her daughter was in love again.

---

“Taylor, get changed right now! We have to do the hair and makeup. Taylor! Are you even listening to me?”

“I know Kevin. Stop making a fuss about everything. I’m on it”, I shouted at my manager, again. Gosh, why did he always piss me off like this? 

I quickly got into a beautiful, knee-length green dress, which was designed by Novis. To be honest, I was not impressed with the dress. It was hard to be impressed with anything when your mind didn’t even put into it. I felt like a doll being dressed up, along with all the hair do and make-up. A happy doll, I must be.

“Chin down Taylor”
“Look up. Open your eyes. There you go. Done with the mascara”
“It would be a lot easier for the hairstyler if your hair wasn’t this short”
“I don’t think red lipstick will fit. How about light orange?”
“No it will be terrible. Just put on some nude lipsticks. She will look more natural”

I swore I would get the hell out of here if I could. I wondered what Karlie’s cake tasted like.
I didn’t even want to tweet about this award show. I wouldn’t even be here if it hadn’t been for Kevin and my management team. I should have been in Nashville. I should have gone home. I should have been surrounded by people who actually understood me, not people who only cared about how my hair looked like
My fans always wondered why I loved spending time at home with my cats. Well, at least Meredith and Olivia were real to me.

“Put yourself together Taylor”, I whispered, “Just go out there, take a few pictures, and don’t forget to smile. It’ll be over even sooner than you can realize”

I went out of the hotel with a team of dozens of people following behind and got into the Limousin. I opened up my phone and found ten new messages. Some asked for promotion, some asked for a duet, some threatened to kill me if I dared to write a song about their precious idol. I forced a smile. No messages from Karlie. Had she forgotten about me? I found the answer right away. She was in New York for a runway show. The loneliness took over me faster than I could react. I couldn’t cry. My mascara hadn’t dried yet.

Afterall, this is just a lost city...

And we’re all lost hearts...

“Taxi cabs and busy streets,
That never bring you back to me,
I can't help but wish you took me with you...”