like i said in the previous update this one will have to be about dealing and coping with deaths in the family, which clearly isnt very easy for me either. I don't think it's easy for anybody, however I am here to give you some advice/ things to keep your mind off of it. This has been a chapter long awaited and I am sorry for that.
... I just realized I've been gone so long some of you have no idea my father has passed away. He left us 07/28/18. I also don't think I mentioned the 8 months in Texas with Nathan but that will be shared another time. Since it's been so long I will make detailed updates on the time in between my last upload, in separate updates of course. But onto the chapter we go!
Okay, for starters it does not matter if they were a part of the family, a friend or a pet. Grieving is grieving. Although the biggest loss in my life has been my grandpa and my father, rather close to each other as well.
All I can say is that it will get easier to bear. It will get easier to talk about and nobody can invalidate your feelings. I held my emotions in for a long time without speaking upon them and not only did it put me in a sad rut, I became angry.. watching everyone around me heal and get passed this. I didn't know how to react to the thought of him being gone, i hadn't even turned 18. But what helped me is the few understanding people I had in my life, internet friends. People did come and go and yes I pushed some of these people away. The ones that stuck are the ones that matter. It is hard to deal with. Very. Especially for someone young, with a strong confusing feeling towards this person I've lost. However these people, friends, got me through it and help me get through it everyday.
Here are some things I did to keep my mind occupied/ busy instead of dwelling on this loss:
I cried to myself (often/ still do) crying does help, even if you aren't alone and people are around do NOT hold it in. Cry. Cry like a baby. They will understand.
Even though it seems like you wouldn't want to do this so soon, I saved all of his pictures to one album so whenever I'm down I can peek in.
I write to him, not everyday but when I can or when I'm feeling really sad. I just tell him basic things like how my day was or about events or parties I've gone to and how much I wish he was still here to watch me grow.
Writing helps, it gets the thoughts out that are hard to put into words. The eases and frustrations, they all flow out on paper.
A few other things that could help -
Talking to family, remember they're mourning too. It's always nice to talk to close family about a similar loss.
Go on walks to clear your mind if talking/writing does not work for you. Do something you tend to do like a hobby or an activity you enjoy.
Hang out with friends. For me, it wasn't physical/verbal help that I needed. It made me feel a little anxious when speaking about it.. so if that happens to you it's totally okay. Just make sure to let them know how you are so they aren't worrying about you. Keep them updated. Don't disappear for too long, you can get your space.. just keep them close. They will understand.
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Sorry this one was so short for not having updated in so long. But as you should know I have a lot going on I still, I work everyday for hours a day and hardly sleep well so please as you amazing readers have been be patient please!! I promise you guys I have some ideas for chapters that will be coming eventually!!! Love you guys so much and thank you for the constant supports!
