Cut My Lip

Six

For once, it was just me and Darry together. We were walking around by the railroad tracks.

It was a little chilly, and both of us were off work. I'd started working two jobs, and I'd never tell Dallas, but I was, in fact, stressed out.

"I don't know how you do it." I sighed, and my breath misted in front of my face. "Two jobs, Ponyboy, and Sodapop? It's just me and I can barely handle two jobs."

He shrugged. "I don't know. I guess I'm just used to it."

I nodded. "I hate being a waitress. It's a Soc-esque joint, they're always talking about me and that damned uniform."

"I'm sorry. Quit that job?"

"I wish."

We were both silent for a bit. I was freezing; I was wearing jeans and a plain blue T-shirt. I didn't think it'd be so cold. I looked up at Darry.

His cheeks were rosy, but he looked like he was deep in thought. He really was beautiful.

"Darry, if you don't mind me askin'... why're you so strict with Pony? He's always complainin' about you to me."

Darry frowned. "He does?"

"He... thinks that you don't care about him. To tell you to truth, you can be pretty strict."

"He's so young, y'know? I don't want him to get hurt. He doesn't have much common sense. He could've been killed last month if you hadn't been there. But I guess I could go softer on him."

"He feels like he can't talk to you."

"He does?" Darry's voice cracked slightly and I felt terrible. "I'm a horrible brother."

"You're not horrible." I said softly, but he was already crying. "Darry, please, come on. You're not a horrible brother."

"Yes, I am." He gasped. "I been horrible to Ponyboy."

"No, you haven't. You've just been strict, is all. You're a good brother, you just need to... loosen up a little."

"You're right." He said, wiping his face on his sleeve. "I'm sorry for crying. God, I'm sorry."

"Hey, it's alright. Everyone cries." I told him.

"You don't. I ain't ever seen you cry."

"I cry. Makes me feel weak, though. So I don't."

"You're not weak. You're one of the tuffest people I know." Darry scoffed, and I laughed.

"No I ain't. Only reason it's like that is 'cause everything I been through."

"Shit, you don't deserve anything you've been through." He said.

"That's where you're wrong." I said, feeling sad all of a sudden. I did deserve everything I'd been through. Dally was the one that didn't deserve it. He was harmless, honestly. He only killed those people 'cause they almost killed me.

"You don't." Darry insisted.

"You're just being nice."

"I'm being honest, Anne. You're not a bad person. Stop telling yourself that. We all care about you."

"Well, I'm scared that something is gonna to happen and I'm going to lose all of you!" I exclaimed. "It's happened before, and I'm not willing to let it happen again."

"What?" Darry asked, dumbfounded.

I sighed real heavy. "Back in New York, right after Dally and I got thrown in prison, we made friends with some other kids there. They were alright, I guess. Nothin' like you guys. They were manipulative. I didn't know about it until the night of it, but they convinced Dally to join in on a suicide pact. They killed themselves in their cells and I found out he was going to do it..."

I sucked in a deep, shuddering breath so I wouldn't cry. "We never talked about it ever again. And if you tell anyone, and I mean anyone, Curtis..."

He nodded. "I'm awful sorry, Annie."

"I don't feel like talkin' about it anymore."

"I understand."

A train thundered along the tracks and I flashbacked to four years ago. I was brought back by Darry speaking again. "Annie, I need to tell you. I'm in love with you."

My breath caught in my throat. "I love you, Darrel Curtis."

"I love you, Anne Winston."

I stood up on my tiptoes and still couldn't reach his face. He bent down and we kissed.

When we pulled away, we were both blushing and smiling. "I been wantin' to do that for forever now." I whispered.

"Me too." He smiled.