Random Thoughts!

Confused!

I don't understand how I'm feeling right now. All I want to do is to talk to someone other than my family, but I don't know if anyone wants to. I have noticed that my notifications have not been blown up in the past 2 weeks. Is that because people hate the update or whatever Wattpad is doing? Wattpad has deleted my stories life 4 times and I see comments on mb saying theirs are missing too. Plus random people are having problems with books like adding them to their reading lists.
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Does anyone know that saying  " When your on over its like the time moves much slower the longer your apart but when you seem to be together but at the same time your not, the time does move faster then. "
If you know what that is supposed to be saying because every quote has a hidden meaning them your best to know that I feel like *hit because of it.
I have never felt this way in my whole life and it hurts more than anything I have ever experienced. I don't regret telling the person I love my true feeling, but what I am saying right now its killing me i can't talk to the person I love. I tried everything I thought of that I can do to talk to them, but I stopped because I didn't want to spam them or get them annoyed even though they told me they like listening to my words. I just like to be cautious with the people I care about.
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After I was listening to my brother watch YouTube which seemed like forever. I cried myself to sleep thinking about his words to me. There were other things on my mind at the same time yes but I tried to ignore them and push the thought aside to think about later. But I couldn't help it. I always think the worst in situations that involve people I care about deeply. There are so many things I want to say to way too many people to count and it's killing me the one I don't mind being civil and peaceful with because of certain feelings has not answer me since I last talk to them around 1pm yesterday. I wish I could stop crying but I can't having so many thoughts on my head that I can not control or get rid of is making it hard. I think I might cry myself to sleep again for the second time in less than 12 hours. I hope I can make peace with my thoughts on the morning otherwise I might go crazy and end up in a nut house like my sister but not for the same reasons.