Disasterology (perrentes)

chapter 5

The first week was strange for me. The first day was completely foreign but I have to admit it was better than the alternative of living with my mom or dad.

April 19

After Vic left they took my phone and told me to change into these light grey scrub looking clothes. It was late in the evening when they finished so they told me I could go to the dining hall for dinner. I wasn't hungry though, so I went to my room. Jaimie wasn't there so I just went to bed. To say the least, it was one of the worst nights of sleep I've ever gotten.

Our room had two twin sized beds with plain white sheets and pastel blue comforters. The walls were white and for the most part plain but on Jaimie's side there was one single Slipknot poster. We also both had small shelves by our beds. Mine was empty with nothing on it or in it but Jaimie's had a framed picture of two girls about the age of fourteen and another one of him and one of the girls in the other photo. The other girl must have been him before his transition. I preferred his side of the room. It wasn't so empty.

When I woke up Jaimie was staring at me. I had almost shit my pants out of fear. His reaction was laughing his ass off as though he wasn't just looking at me so intensely that he could see into my soul. He was sitting on his bed which was right across from mine, shirtless with his legs crossed. I noticed he had a tattoo on his chest. It was a tiny 2012 a type writer looking font.

"What's special about 2012?" I asked after he stopped laughing.

He looked confused for a minute and then realization hit him. "Oh, uh, it was the year I finally made the transition," he smiled. I don't know why, but him smiling made me smile.

There were still some questions I had though, "So, uh, does it....work?" I asked quietly.

Jaime giggled and blushed, "Yeah it works."

Seeing that Jaime was fine withe asking questions I continued, "So, you can get boners and cum and shit?"

"Yes, yes indeed. My family is wealthy enough to make sure all if my gonads function properly. It would really blow if I was given a malfunctioning dick, like constant boners even if I wasn't aroused that would suck," he chuckled.

I couldn't help but laugh at that.

"One last question about your dick," he let out a small chuckle, "Can you get someone pregnant?" I asked.

He raised his eyebrows and I began to worry I had asked something that hit a sore spot for him but then he smiled and said, "I honestly never thought to ask. I mean, I'm ace so I'm not worried about it but huh I don't know. Why do you want to know, roomie?"

"I don't know, just curious I suppose. I've never actually met someone who, uh, you know...." I trailed off.

"Changed their sex? Me neither," he said with a sad smile.

"So, did you try to kill yourself?" He asked.

"Wow, so blunt," I said.

Jaime rushed to apologize but I cut him off "I was kidding, dude." I laughed, "I did try to kill myself though, not too long ago actually. I'm not even sure if it's been a full week."

"Why?" he said with a straight face. This obviously wasn't a joke to him.

"Uh, I was really mopey and I just didn't feel like breathing anymore, I guess. I felt like wasn't doing anything to improve the world so I might as well not be in it, ya know?" I said.

"Why don't you just say depressed. That's what it sounds like," his eyebrows scrunched up in confusion.

"Well, um, I have this thing were I don't like to say I'm depressed because people tend to say depressed in place of upset or sad. It's annoying and depression isn't something that you can necessarily pin point the cause, you just don't feel happy, ya know? And then there are people who go around saying they're depressed when they are upset about something super trivial for a minute and then move on. When you're depressed, you don't just move on. It's hard to do that. Anywho not depressed, mopey," I explained.