Cuddle Application

24 - Come to the Alter

"Come back. Even as a shadow, even as a dream."
~Euripides

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I missed a week of school to fly to Disney with my family.

When the doctor told Molly she could spend an entire week doing anything she wanted to do, she screamed, "Disney World!" before he'd even gotten the last word out.

We flew down Sunday morning and stayed in a hotel. We went to the park for three days and spent the rest running around beaches and eating a lot of ice cream. In the hotel, we ate the complimentary cookies and swam in the pool. I held Molly in the hot-tub because she said it was "too hot" by herself. I slept in one of the two queen sized beds with her, my parents in the other and James on the pull-out couch. She asked me to braid her hair every night.

It hurt to look at my little sister.

At her small little button nose and her always-excited eyes. At the way she smiled at me when I walk into the room. The way she squealed as our rollercoaster cart flew down the tracks at Disney World. The way her eyes became saucers when she'd spotted Goofy across the park. The way she never once cried, when my dad had to turn away every other ride.

I bought her a keychain in the store. It had Cinderella's face on it, with "My Little Princess" etched in cursive at the bottom. She almost stopped breathing when she saw it, but that was happening a lot lately. Whenever she got too excited or emotional, her little chest would puff up and stay there. We'd have to massage under her diaphragm and collarbones until she calmed down enough to breathe again.

I gave her the keychain and her chest puffed up like a rooster about to give the morning call. My mom started crying, and Molly's lips turned purple. I massaged under her collarbones, and she said, "Thank you for the princess, Sky."

"Because Cinderella's your favorite princess, right?" I asked, smiling when I remembered that she once asked our mom to start calling her Ella.

"No," Molly said, smiling cheek to cheek as if I'd just screwed up the most obvious question. "You're my favorite princess."

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I don't know what Oliver and I are to each other anymore. I'm still mad about him lying, but my emotions are too preoccupied with Molly to handle anything else right now.

He comes over sometimes. Mostly to hang out with James, where they play video games or go for drives, because James isn't handling any of this any better than I am.

But sometimes he comes for me. He'll sit down next to me on the couch and we'll watch an entire episode of Say Yes to the Dress, and he won't even critisize. Or he'll make dinner for me. One time it was mac and cheese, and another time it was a zesty chicken soup. His "mother's recipe" he said, but didn't elaborate.

It was really hard for me not to tell him — what his dad said about his mom.

I guess that means I'm lying to him, too.

Lina comes over too. The week before Disney, she spent the night four days in a row, even though most of them were school nights. She brings me the homework from all the days I've missed and we pretend to do it while watching Project Runway and drinking smoothies from Peaches and Creamery.

Cora won't see either of us. Lina nearly broke the door of the Creevy's mansion to try to get in, but neither Sandra nor Mrs. Creevy would let her. Lina said Sandra looked reluctant to turn her away, but Cora was clear about "no visitors." Lina was taking it harder than I was, but I guess I had my own tragedies to deal with, so if Cora wasn't going to take Lina's help, all the more for me.