Promise Me ➵ Newt [3]

THIRTEEN| escape route

I found Newt sitting dejectedly on his bed when I exited the bathroom.

It was noon, and even though I was completely exhausted from sleep deprivation, I went over to his side and sat down on the bed next to him, careful not to make any sudden moves. He didn't move, didn't acknowledged my presence, only continued staring at the floor miserably.

"Hey," I said gently. "I... I need to talk to you."

"What's there to talk about?" He said listlessly. "I just attacked my bloody girlfriend. I'm a monster. End of story."

"Newt," I said, a little more firmly this time. "You're not a monster. And that's not what I wanted to say either."

"Then what is it?" He said, turning his head round to stare up at me desolately. His eyes glistened from tears. "If I hear one more buggin' klunk about finding a cure-"

"That's not what I was going to say either."

Newt's eyebrows furrowed. "Then what-"

I held out my hand and he glanced down; his eyes widened as he spotted the thin, faint, but definitely noticeable veins growing through my skin.

"Y-You-" he stammered, eyes wide with fear. "You're-"

"Infected," I said calmly. "And no, Newt, I don't blame you. It was bound to happen anyway."

"How can you-" Newt stood up and sudden anger blazed in his eyes. "How can you be so calm about it? I just bloody infected you! And what do you mean 'It was bound to happen'? There was a chance - a chance that you could survive all this-this shucking mess without getting the Flare and I ruined it!"

I gazed up at him sadly. He let loose a noise of frustration and sat back down, burying his head in his hands. I shifted closer to him and gently pried his hands away. The tears that gathered in his eyes were running down his face now.

"Look," I said softly, "like I said, I don't blame you. And you know it's true - that even if you hadn't infected me, I'm bound to catch the Flare sooner or later anyway. It's just a matter of when."

"You don't get it, do you?" He said miserably. "You had a chance of surviving. A slim chance, yeah, but still a chance."

I shook my head, a small, sad smile on my face. "You and I both know that I will still get infected anyway. I mean, after all we've been through it would be impossible for me to not get infected at this rate. I know this sounds morbid, but even if we can't find a cure... at least we'll be together, right?"

He glanced back up at me, the tears cutting through his face as they dripped down onto the floor. We stared at each other for a long moment, neither of our gazes breaking away. Then finally I leaned in and wrapped my arms around him, burying my face into his chest. Newt hugged me back, his teardrops now dripping onto my hair - but I didn't mind. We sat there leaning into each other, eyes closed as we absorbed each other's presence.

"I'm sorry again," Newt whispered.

"Stop it, stop apologising." I cupped his face in my hands and forced him to look straight into my eyes. "I don't blame you alright? I don't blame you at all. It isn't your fault."

"But I-"

"If you say sorry one more time I'll slap you."

"S-Sorry," Newt said sheepishly. "No, wait - I meant... okay."

I couldn't help it - I laughed. A moment an embarrassed grin spread through his face, and then he started chuckling, which soon turned into laughter. We sat there, gripping onto each other as we snorted with laughter, all exhaustion and misery vanishing for the time being. It felt so good - so fucking good to just ignore my problems, even if it was only temporary.