Promise Me ➵ Newt [3]

NINETEEN | Teresa's Sacrifice

There was the sound of bullet on flesh and bone, then Newt's body jerked back and fell onto the street. I watched as he stilled, his face rolling to the side as dark, warm blood spilled from his head and onto the pavement, flowing into the crevices of the stone ground and pooling, watched as he laid with limbs sprawled out, as lifeless as a ragdoll. 

Breathing heavily, tears running down his face, Thomas struggled to get up, heartbreak in every inch of his face. He knelt next to Newt, the gun limp in his hand. He stared down at his body, his posture hunched and helpless as his face froze into shock.

I pushed myself up, blatantly ignoring the pain in my head and heart, and crawled over to them. The Flare virus consumed my sanity faster every second, but I could only focus on Newt - on his lifeless body, on his face that was no longer capable of speaking or breathing. I hung my head, my heart beating madly. Even though his body was right in front of me, even though the miniscule fraction of my brain that was still sane told me flatly that he was dead, I stared down at him in a daze, not quite believing it, not wanting to believe it. 

"I'm sorry," Thomas whispered, his voice so fragile I almost didn't catch his words.

I felt no anger in me; yet I couldn't find it in myself to meet his gaze. I felt the virus forcing sudden fury to flare up in me, but I couldn't even find energy to be angry at Thomas. I could only feel a numb pain tugging at every inch of my throbbing heart.

Through the ringing in my ears and tears leaking from my eyes, I heard Thomas say something else, heard his frail voice speak, but I couldn't hear him, couldn't grasp any sanity left in me to be able to process his words. I heard the crunching of gravel and shuffling of fabric - then Thomas stood up and walked away, his silhouette blurry in the corner of my eyes. 

I closed my eyes and leaned forward, tilting down so that I was kneeling over Newt with my forehead pressed against his, his skin already coolling. I grasped the sides of his head and ignoring his warm blood that stuck to my hands, I hugged him to me, wishing I could wake up from this nightmare that I was thrown into. I heard the urgent thumping of boots running against damp pavement behind me, heard the heavy, ragged breathings of several people as their pace slowed to a halt, their footsteps nearing me and Newt with an unbreakable tension. I heard the thump of someone falling to their knees beside me, then felt someone's breath hitch as they arrived at the daunting realization that Newt was no longer with us. 

"Rose, what... what happened?" came Minho's weary whisper from beside me.

And that was when my heart broke into pieces.

The tears all flowed out at once, and like a dam in me had broke, I started crying and weeping and sobbing, rocking back and forth on my knees as I cradled Newt's body to mine - I felt fury, I felt anguish, I felt pain unlike anything I had ever felt. I had dislocated my shoulder before, had been shot in my side before, had been bitten in the arm by Newt - but nothing - nothing - could amound to the roaring tsunami of pain that churned in me at that very moment. I wanted to give up, to just lay there and slowly wither away to nothingness just to escape the pain. Was it worth it, to continue living on when the heartbeat of the person I cared and loved most had stopped beating and pulsing, when their chest had finally stopped rising and falling in the familiar rhythm I was so used to?

"I'm sorry to have to say this but... we have to go," I heard Gally say weakly from my left. 

I felt someone hook their hands under my arms, felt them pull me away gently, but I ripped my arms away from their grasp and hugged Newt back to me again. More arms grabbed at me and I screamed then, a horrifying sound tearing through the air that perfectly represented how I felt at that moment.