this is educational

first date

Yurio and Otabek were in an office supply shop at the mall. They were in the very back of the shop. Why? Because Yurio has an odd obsession with notebooks. They can't be to small, they must be over 12 inches, but under 18 inches. The cover of the notebook must be hard covered, not paper. After that journey, Yurio must find a pen.

"Uh, Yurio, since this is a date, can I ask you some questions?" Odabeck asked.

He was nervous. He was a scratching his neck while looking at the ground. He wished he didn't have to ask the question, well the first question, but Yurio wouldn't be able to answer the question.

"Sure I'll answer, if you give me money." Yurio said, picking up a black cover notebook, opening it, and feeling the pages in a gentle manner. He looked at the notebook with such a fire of want in his eyes.

"You want me to buy that notebook for you, don't you?" Otabek smirked. His eyebrow raised in a teasingly manner.

"Otabek has great eyebrows, and I find it attractive." Yurio noted this to himself.

"Yes. Anyway what did you want to ask?" Yurio asked handing Otabek the black covered notebook.

"What are your feelings for Minami?" Otabek quickly asked, His hands fidgeting with his zipper. Yurio, for some reason, found it adorable.

"Right now, I'm gonna be honest, I don't know. I mean, I know I'm attracted to Minami but, it's different now. I mean ever since you showed up, my feelings, uh, my feelings are less attracted to Minami and more attracted to you." Yurio blushed.

Yurio liked this feeling he got when he is around Otabek. It felt warm ,but felt uncomfortable. He felt weak.

"That's great! I like you too! But not in a friend way, uh, but as a lover. Not that your my lover, unless you want to? Do you want to? I mean, I would love to date you, I want to date you. I want you to be my boyfriend. Please be my boyfriend. And I should shut up now because I'm nervous and happy that you like me and, nope shut up now." Otabek scrambled to get all his thoughts out. His arms were moving around a lot, Showing how nervous he was. His face, a vibrant red.

Yurio frowned. He felt scared and guilty. He didn't know what to do. His past, his sins. He doesn't deserve affection from a gorgeous guy, who is kind and funny, who is wired and wise, He's fun and comfortable/uncomfortable to be around.

"Ah,I see, I, uh" Yurio searched for words.

He glared at the floor and sighed. Otabek should know. Even if he might run away. Yurio should tell him, to let him know what he is getting into.

"Before you decide to date me, There's a few things you should know." He paused preparing himself for what he'd say next. "I'm fuck up. I have PTSD. I'm not a virgin, I was raped. My virginity was stolen away from me so I could never give it to you. I was neglected by my parents, so communication and affection is hard for me to handle. when you hug me for more than five minutes don't be surprised when I cry, I didn't really have any physical affection for 5 years. I have abandonment issues since my siblings were stolen away from me at 11 years old, since I raised them when I was four. There's more, but am I going to fast for you?" Yurio croaked as he tried his best to keep his composure. Yurio's eyes watered, while his might-be-lover's green eyes looked like a spring in a peaceful grassy field. Such a beautiful green.

Otabek's eyes widened. More than anything, he wanted to hold Yurio, to tell him he is ok, that he would protect him. He would always protect him, no matter what. He wanted to cradle Yurio and let him cry into his shoulder. Otabek was sad that Yurio had to go through so much, but at the same time Otabek was happy that Yurio showed him his weak side.

"No, please keep going." Otabek cooed sadly, waving his hands. He was learning so much about Yurio. Yurio is not normal, he is interesting and amazing. Otabek admired Yurio for his inner strength.

"I sinned, I tore my biological family apart!! It, it was my fault. My egg donor, which is my biological mother, brought home a man and, cheated on my father in front of me, my siblings and my biological father! Nobody told her to stop but me, it was wrong! She shouldn't have done it! When I screamed at her to stop she beat me, In front of everyone and even my father didn't tell her to stop until ten minutes passed. While he did tell her to stop and distracted her, I ran outside to scream for help from the neighbors. They were at their front porch smoking and as soon as they saw me, they ran into their house, while I continued screaming for help. My biological mother ran out of the house and grabbed me by the hair. She shoved me back into my room and beat me. When she left my room, I jumped out of my window. I ran to the my dad's friend's house and he called the police. She got arrested. I lived with my dad for two months, then with my uncle and grandpa, along with my siblings. Not uncle Victor, but my other uncle, anyways I was emotionally abused by my grandpa and got bullied at school. My mother took my siblings away and that put me into depression, I couldn't see my siblings and I, I'm the worst big brother ever! I couldn't even take care of and protect my siblings. And now They're living with my fucking biological father and her abusive bitch ass girlfriend." Yurio cried in the store. No one was in the back of the shop, So no attention was brought to them.

"Wait, you're confusing me. I thought your siblings lived with your mom, I mean your biological mom." Quickly correcting himself. He looked over at Yurio, he was crying. Otabek put his arms around Yurio, comforting him. Yurio cried harder for a few minutes, sobbing into his shirt. Finally, got a hold of himself.

"They did, but she gave them to my dad because she's a drug dealer and a whore. She also doesn't like responsibility. Please don't pity me most of all, please don't pity me." Yurio cried, holding onto Otabek, Hugging him back. Otabek's smell was comforting. It told Yurio that Otabek was really there.

Otabek could smell Yurio's sweetness, it made him feel the need to protect and love Yurio, almost like it was his life purpose.

"I don't pity you, but I admire you for your inner strength. You're sort of like a soldier, and you got the eyes of one. I should know I have a good dad, who has PTSD and he's a soldier, who's been to war so many times and he still lives. He had his foot blown off. Anything else I got to know before I date you?" Otabek asked soothingly.

Yurio smiled against his shirt knowing that this was a sign that Otabek wanted to stay.

"I have an attitude, and by attitude I mean like I'm a sassy bitch. I have a dark side. My most twisted fantasy is to torture my biological parents for years. What I mean by dark, I don't mean like 'oh I'm so badass and stuff,' I mean my dark side like I want nail down your feet to the floor, and rip the chair from under you, telling you to walk while watching you rip your feet open for freedom." Yurio smirked, while having a certain twisted look in his eyes, like he's the predator playing with his prey.

"Well first off that's totally hot, and second your attitude is one of the reasons I like you. You have an inner strength as a bonus. I'm still into you so will you please date me?" Otabek begged.

"But I'm difficult." Yurio countered. A blush crept upon his face, while he tried to push Otabek away, embarrassed that he ever let Otabek see him so weak and pathetic.

"Difficult is more interesting than simple." Otabek smiled at Yurio, his grip tightening

.
Yurio found that Otabek must work out, because he is stronger him. Yurio hid his face in his chest giving up.

"But, I don't deserve affection." Yurio whispred tearing up.

"You deserve more affection than anyone I know." Otabek said rubbing Yurio's back. Yurio was silently sobbing.

"I'm not pathetic, am I?" yurio squeaked in his emotional state.

"You're not pathetic, in fact you're the strongest person I've ever met. Stronger than my father.". 

( sorry I didnt publish for a while...I'm gonna take a break....dont worry I will come back to the story.)