you saved the world from me [septiplier]

xx. our final bow

(hi please make sure you've read chapter xix as these were uploaded simultaneously)

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"Who wants to live forever?

Who dares to love forever?"

–Queen, Who Wants To Live Forever

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THE ride up in the elevator was smooth. It neither shook nor did it stop and start again. They had evacuated the building a few minutes earlier, made sure it was completely empty before they went up to the roof. Mark and Signe did not speak. His throat was dry and his eyes were burning, there was a big pit in his stomach and a slight tremor in his hands. He tried to keep his mind blank, to not let her hear any of the racing thoughts in his head, because they were not something he wanted anyone to hear.

He was Markiplier, the brave superhero who people were counting on to put Antisepticeye away for good, and if he couldn't do that, what was he in the end? Not a hero. No, definitely not.

He couldn't fail everyone. He couldn't fail the world, fail his family, fail Felix—

—Fail Jack.

He swallowed.

God, he couldn't think about Jack right now. He felt a stab in his heart remembering how they'd left it—he had fucked it up. But, at the same time, he couldn't completely regret it, because he could not hide the truth much longer.

It was only a matter of time before it would've fucked up their relationship anyway, Mark thought.

Still, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He could not bear to look at Signe and see the judgement in her eyes, but really, there was nothing for her to judge, didn't she know love—

He didn't finish that sentence in his mind. That was too cruel and he did not want to die—if he were to die; the possibility seemed likely enough—a bad man. No, if he were to die, he would die the way he wanted to. (Even if it wasn't like this, even if he still had a life to live).

He thought, pointedly, that Signe should let him have this moment to think about Jack without judging him—he didn't know why, but he suspected she disapproved of his feelings for the Irishman.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her nod, and could only be thankful she let him have this. As the old elevator slowly rattled up to the roof, he thought of the life he would never have. He would never have a family, never get married, never live in the beautiful house on a hill he had always dreamt of. Sure, it may have a white picket fence and there may be a golden retriever playing with two young children like an old cliche, but to him, it was his dream. He wanted to love and be loved, he wanted to have a future. And yet, there he sat, mourning the life he would never have. Still, in the end, he had had Jack, even if it was only for a little while, and not in the way he had wanted. He had known love, at least, and maybe he could live with that being enough. Or die, if he was going to be more accurate.

"Mark," Signe questioned, "Why do you think you're going to die? We can win this fight—"

"We can't, Signe. He's too strong. You saw the state I was in the last time, I don't...Maybe with you by my side, I have a bigger chance of living, but it's still...small."

She looked at him softly, and her face spelt out her confusion. She asked him why. Why would he fight in a fight he would lose?

Because I couldn't live with myself if I didn't, Mark thought at her as the elevator doors slid open.