bad 4 me ~HIGH SCHOOL TEA TIME~

exposed

the next weekend, I had a softball tournament. After day 1 on saturday, I went home and got ready to go hang out with JC, Diego, Morgan, Cierra, and two other boys that were there at Epcot and were our new friends. We ate pizza and went to the boarding houses at our school. 

I came home from that super fun day (u know it was fun because I didn't even touch JC barely and I still had fun) and my mom started yelling at me saying I was supposed to tell her I was there and that I shouldn't have gone because It might not have been safe, even though it totally was!!! she took away all my devices but after i told JC my snapchat login to do my streaks. While I was at the tournament the next day, there was this whole scandal that i was alone with JC at his house because people saw us together on Snap Maps since he was in my Snapchat. 

My mom also went through my phone and found out the status with me and JC. I dont tell my mom or dad anything because they always yell at me and are really disappointed in me for everything and they never let me have fun. THEY DONT LET ME BE A NORMAL RECKLESS TEENAGER WITH 0 RESPONSIBILITIES!! and she found a horny conversation and JC's ab pictures on my phone and a picture of my neck with the hickey. My parents were both pissed and now probably hate  JC and they won't really let me hang out with him anymore and im crying writing this rn

I emailed  JC when i went on my computer to do homework that night and he told me that he doesn't think he likes Claire anymore and that he needed a break from all girls. I was super excited because I knew my chances of getting with him just skyrocketed. I told him a break from all girls was good and that he needed to get away from all of the drama. 

The rest of the week was emotionally draining. Monday he avoided me as a joke because he kept saying he didn't want my dad to see us, even though we were at school. The next day was super fun and we started joking around like old times again and its was really fun. 

On Wednesday we got in a huge fight because he found out about some stupid thing. Basically one of our old friends posted a thing on her spam where you like the picture and she will DM you a name and you have to comment how drunk you would have to be to hook up with them. She gave me Diego, so I said one sip and only if no one found out. If i had to hook up with him thats all it would take. But it didn't mean i WANT to hook up with him, at least not right now. JC texted me after I posted this and he asked me who i was talking about. He gets insanely jealous over me and diego because of our "history", so I did the dumbest thing ever and lied and told him it was him. On wednesday we were talking about it and he caught me telling madison it was diego and not him and he got so fucking mad that he went around telling Tanner that he was done with me and my lies and i was back on the same bullshit or whatever. In my Chemistry class with Tanner I was bawling crying like DURING CLASS and walking to my next period I was crying too. It was so crazy but he didn't mean it. He gets mad with me and diego, and then it makes him even more mad that he got jealous because he "never gets jealous for anyone". He pushed his anger out on me. That  lunch we didn't speak one word but he was clearly trying to get my attention and he was in a better mood but I didn't speak to him.

But we made up that night and things were fine again except he is always in mood swings around me. Every lunch for the beginning of the lunch he is really mad and he goes to sit with our Freshman friends for a little bit and comes back even madder and then all of a sudden a switch is flipped and he's laughing and joking and teasing me.

Also that night I texted Diego and asked him why he seemed like he didn't like me (he had been distancing himself from me and being rude). He told me it was because I never talked to him or was nice to him which in that moment I realized i had been doing because I didn't want to make JC jealous or mad about it. Which is so wrong. So i decided to fix that.

On friday night, I had no plans since I was still i guess grounded. I had a lot of time to myself and it made me start thinking back up again about how I miss the way things used to be between me and jc. of course i love being his friend and being horny or whatever but times like this day I just craved that kind of sweet attention and calling me baby and sending me paragraphs. He's changed since then and doesn't do it anymore and i was literally sobbing for like 2 hours about it and before he knew what was wrong he was already being sweeter with me. Since we had stopped dating, I stopped telling him when i was sad because i didn't want to seem needy but i was so sad in this moment that i didn't care and sent him a pic of my face covered in tears and mascara. he was being sweeter than he had been since we broke up and i was so grateful for it. We talked about it for a little bit and he explained that he was super sweet to me because i was his girlfriend (which made me sad because i got the feeling that he only was sweet because a boyfriend is supposed to rather than him being sweet because he cares about me). I eventually got over it and he said he would try to be a bit sweeter.