Standing amidst the shores is Hiccup Haddock, the proud leader of Berk. Surrounding him are legions of highly experienced dragon riders.
Taking to the skies on his menacing Night Fury, the Chief of Berk bellows out his warcry, "Take to the skies my brothers, we shall drive back the invaders!" At his behest, the dragons take to their wings, flying in a loose formation towards a massive ship not of this era.
Meanwhile standing in the control tower of the USS Kentucky F. Chicken is Rear Admiral Wallace Mc Harlington, his face green with sea sickness. Yet inspite of his weakness to the rough seas, he maintains his steadfast expression.
Equipped with a voice befitting of a food starved vagrant, Wallace speaks into the mike, "Man yer'stations you fucking weasels! The enemy isn't gonna kill themselves, I haven't eaten my burgers for lunch!"
"B-but sir....you already ate twenty fi-"
"Quit the yappin will ya? The natives are approaching and we must defend not only ourselves, but also our way of life! Our Susages must remain ours alone!!" The admiral proudly exclaims, inspiring the fat lards munching away on the consoles to put their greasy western food aside.
Standing near the exit of the control tower is the famous 9000 star Texan General John Miller, eyes filled with nothing but confidence and experience. "Sir....I must apologize but..."
Silence fills the room as everyone turns to look at the gun slinging Maniac, "I have ordered my men to attach the burgers onto our f-15's..." A collective scream fills the air, releasing a burst of despair. A few of the fat asses fainted, not able to take the news.
As the control tower self destructs due to the laws of physics not being able to take the intense emotional pain emitted by the food loving american people, the riders of berk finally close in on the aircraft carrier.
However that was their ultimate downfall, for seeing as dragons have a superb sense of smell, it was only a matter of time before their noses pick up the mouth watering scent of classic fast food burgers trailing the air, tied to the engines of the f-15's.
"Toothless nnnnooooo!" Hiccup screams in utter confusion as his Night Fury races towards the aircraft. Having been given crappy raw fishes throughout his whole life, it was a no brainer that superior american food would override his senses, compelling him to ignore his rider's orders.
"Listen to thy master!! You stupid piece of dragon poop!!"
As Hiccup the Horrendus tries to assume control of his pathetic little black dog with wings, a sidewinder missle, fully armed with freedom streaks across the air striking the both of them dead on.
The battle for the Kentucky F. Chicken was thus thwarted as the rest of the berkian riders realised that their chief was now nothing more than itty bitty fragmants, and it was all due to the heroic foresight of the 9000 star Texan General.
May his beloved mustache...and stylish cowboy hat rest in peace....
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Into The Crack
PoetryA series of crack fics that have no relation to one another. Realism is not known here, only nonsense. Chapter descriptions : 1) Tales of Snoop Dogg 2)Hiccup from HTTYD gets killed by missle 3)Thomas murders everyone 4)Yoda was caught fapping 5)Ash...
