X : Confusion

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Furuta slammed the door to his apartment shut. He violently shrugged off the coat he was wearing and hung it on the hanger, stopping mid-way when he noticed the picture hanging on his wall.

"What the fuck..?" He asked out loud, eyeing the sweet image of you and him together, smiling at the camera the man was obviously holding in the picture.

The male caught himself staring at your frozen self for longer than he would have liked. Ignoring the aching guilt in his heart as he did so, Furuta ripped the memory off his wall, watching as the picture frame shattered into a million pieces when it hit the ground.

He walked over it as he made his way to his living room, heavily letting himself fall on the couch. What was happening to him? How could he have stooped so low? Five months ago, killing (Y/N) (L/N) would have been as easy as breathing in air was, but now... He has trouble imagining your dead body staining the floor of your own apartment without feeling sad or angry at himself.

But he has to think that way, no matter how much he thinks he'll hate himself for it. He had a fucking plan, damn it! He can't let you get in the way.

But he can't kill you if he loves you.

But he doesn't love you, therefore he can kill you.

But he loves you, so he can't.

He told you that he loved you, that's all. It's not because he said something that he means it. He, out of anyone, should damn well know that. Why would he even love someone like you? You're replaceable, aren't you?

Plenty of people out there are witty. Plenty of people out there have the same sense of humor as him. Plenty of people out there have soft (h/c) hair like you. Plenty of people out there had (e/c) eyes like you. Plenty of people out there had a nice laugh. Plenty of people out there had a nice smile. But how many people out there had a smile that could light up their eyes like yours would? How many people out there had the very same combination of quirks and flaws as you? None.

Okay, so what if you were special? Furuta still couldn't let you walk free. As soon as you realize what he's up to, he's in for one hell of a ride. If he does admit to himself that he accidentally fell for you, there's no way he can proceed with his plan without breaking not only his heart, but yours too. Which is why he doesn't love you. Because he's got to do this, and he can't do it without eliminating you.

Will he really be satisfied with his 'ideal world' anyways? He's not one to get distracted from his goals very easily, but when he's with you, everything feels normal. Not once did he ever think about his plan when he was with you (hence his horrible mistakes). You make him feel normal, you make him realize that he'd been subconsciously craving a stable life like that. He does want something like that. He really, really wants it, but...

He can't let go of his plan. He's worked on it for years on end and he won't drop it all because of someone like you.

What could he do?

Nimura chuckled at the idea of dropping a set of steel beams over you (he then instantly felt terrible about laughing, which was followed by an entire inner debate over whether he should laugh or not). It worked well the first time, but... You deserve something better than that. You deserve better than him, you deserve a better fate than this.

But this world is cruel. He knows it first hand. You won't get anything in here. All you'll have is misery and heartbreak. Especially with him in your life.

That was it! That was what he'll do. He'll dispose of you, but only so you can move on to better things. You deserve better. Even his 'super peace' isn't remotely near what he wants for you.

As much as he thinks it's a good idea, it still means he has to kill you, and he doesn't know if he can bring himself to do such a thing.

Fucking hell, you completely corrupted him, didn't you? Uta was right, you were better than he initially thought. You're smart. He hadn't even felt this strongly for Rize before, and you waltz in and make him so dizzy that he doesn't even recognize himself anymore.

And the worst part is that you don't even know about it. You're making him absolutely crazy, a complete mad man, and you're not even aware of what you do to him.

Fuck you.

In a fit of rage, Nimura got up and stomped back to the door of his apartment, grabbing his coat and storming out. He won't even bother with the mask, he needs to take advantage of the sudden anger that took over his body.

It all ends tonight. Tonight, he kills you. He'll deal with the remaining issues tomorrow. He'll find a convincing story later. Right now, all he wants to do is slit your throat and watch as you choke on it and bleed to death.

That's what you get for fucking with his feelings like this. Who gave you the right to do so, anyways? Not fucking him. He'll make sure that after tonight, you know your place. After tonight, he'll prove to himself that he isn't as pathetic as he thinks. It's not a little heartache that's going to stop him from fixing this world and manipulating it to his liking.

He doesn't love you. Furuta hates your guts. He despises you with his entire being. For making him fall for you, for taking on the two cases he wished had been closed years ago.

He doesn't- no, shouldn't care if he does love you. Love is just an illusion, after all. He doesn't need it. He can still murder someone with a disease like that clinging onto him. Many people have done it in the past, so he can manage it too.

Tonight, Furuta'll finish this once and for all.

Tonight, the person you love most will kill you.

Nimura Furuta is going to kill you.

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