The love that drains, your love

When will hurt be over

So that next day I was hurt that I still had lost the baby I mean I everybody will be hurt cause that's takes forever to get over with and I started thinking why do I allow myself to go through stuff knowing that I deserve better I literally cried everyday and till this day I always say to myself that he will never love me how I loved him.... I regret even missing with him cause everything that comes with him is bad such As speaking on me and telling lies. Yeah Ik you not use to real one , but I showed him everything I could such as love, patience,and joyful moments that we spent together but aye I guess shit never fails when u dealing with Dj so I walked to dollar general and as I was walking I started thinking bout Dj like maybe he don't mean to hurt me and that he is scared to love me how I love him but at the same time I also thought like maybe i was mistake in his life and that something wrong  with me I felt so confused on rather I should leave or stay meaning ass if I leave than it would take some time to get over him but I'll eventually be happy and stress free or stay meaning as I would pretend happy and still go through hell with this Nigga, guess what my dumbass picked I said to stay so I called Dj to come over later on when my mama went to work and he said that he would come so my mother left and Dj was finna pull up so I got nervous because even tho he put me thru a lot I still get nervous every time I see him like it was my first time seeing him again. So that night we just kicking it my intentions was to talk about everything he did to me but I was scared like a dumb ass so I just let everything go with the flow and later that night we got busy and he went home before my mama got off work after he left I was thinking maybe I don't need to leave him alone cause it would hurt me to see him with another girl and that it would tear me apart😔....after that