SOMEONE
I like her ever since the day I laid my eyes on her. However, I would that bet she's not even aware of my existence.
I don't know if she's doing it on purpose but it has always been like she's isolating herself. She never likes to socialize with other students. That's how she was from our first year here in high school up until now. I wanted to be her friend. I want her to lift her head and be confident. I want her to open up to other people and make friends. I know something's not fine, she isn't fine.
I don't know what's the reason but I want to make her smile. I'm one hell of a coward so, I came up with an idea. Sending her paper planes with the things I want to say to her will do for now.
I'll keep doing it until I became brave enough to talk to her.
When I was walking towards my living room, I heard my doorbell ring. It's probably my package. I ordered a few things and some more colored papers because I figured I'd be needing more of them since I am a piece of shit. I know she needs some motivation these days.
Oh God, I can't explain how much I want to wrap my arms around her when I accidentally saw her crying. I'm not a creep or a stalker but I-wait, am I stalking her? I guess not. It's not like I follow every move that she makes. I just watch her from afar most of the time but it's not because I am following her. It's because we go to the same school and she happens to pass my room every day. Also, I live nearby her place. So, sometimes it's just coincidental.
I was wondering why she is living alone when she was just sixteen. Well uh- I'm just fifteen but I decided to live alone because I wanted to learn to become independent and my parents agreed. Besides, my parents have few friends in the country. Anyway, back to Jennie, so I was wondering why she was living on her own. Out of curiosity, I asked a neighbor and I found out that it was because her mom went overseas to work. Sadly, her dad already passed away so she had no choice but to live alone.
I'm not stalking her, alright? I just got curious so I asked.
"Here's your parcel, miss." The courier said while handing the package to me. I already paid for it online so I just had to sign to prove to their company that I already got it.
"Thank you," I said before the courier left. He smiled and replied, "You're welcome."
So, what should I do now? I looked out my window and smiled. I realized that I still have to do my homework. If only we became classmates again, we're probably friends by now and we might be doing our homework either at her place or mine. Luck wasn't on my side, so I guess I have to suck it up. At least I got to see her every day.
"Jennie, when will I ever have the chance to talk to you?" I mumbled to myself and sigh.
Wait, I think I do have all the chances in the world. I just don't have the courage because what if she doesn't like people. I mean she never really hangs out with anyone, what if she loves that? I respect her space as well, so it's not only because I am a coward.
After doing my homework, I decided to cook my own dinner. Actually, I don't do it often because I'm really bad at it. At least I know how to fry stuff and cook ramyeon. Most of the time, I just order foods online or eat outside. Actually, I'm thinking about enrolling in a culinary school because if I'd be living in this country alone for a lot more years, then I have to learn to cook food to survive.
Since, I still haven't learned to cook, for now, I'll just go for ramyeon although it's also what I've had for dinner last night. Sucks to be me, I guess.
So, like always, I ate alone. I do miss my parents sometimes but this is my decision so I have to suck it up. Besides, they visit twice a year anyway. But about Jennie, I wonder how lonely it is for her to eat alone in her gloomy house. No wonder she'd be sad. I wish we could eat together so both of us won't be alone.
When I finished eating, I looked out the window once again and saw that it was already dark. So, I decided to go back to my room and finally get some rest.
The first thing I did after hopping off my bed was to get myself a piece of yellow paper and my pen. You guessed it right, I am going to make another paper plane.
"Life is just like climbing a mountain. No matter how hard it is, don't give up because when you reach the top it'll all be worth it. Problems would even seem smaller because you're in a better perspective."
That's what I wrote on the piece of paper before folding it into another paper plane. Honestly, I don't know why that's what I wrote but I just felt like it would be nice to tell Jennie to keep going although life's been tough for her. I am waiting for the day that I would be able to tell those things to her face to face.
