LISA
I was actually looking for something very precious to me. I think I lost it the other day. I've been looking for it every where but I still couldn't find it. I wish I could get it back. My grandma gave it to me before she passed away. I can't just let it go like that. Argh, I'm so stupid.
When Jennie suddenly yelled my name earlier, I was looking for it on the top of the cabinet. I panicked because I thought something bad happened to her and as a result, I had a bad landing. That is why I've been holding my ass, it freaking hurt you know. Fortunately, I didn't get a fracture from the fall but it is still painful though. I even had trouble getting up earlier.
My poor sexy butt, it had suffered a lot because I was careless. It turned out that it wasn't even an emergency. It was just about the dress that I sneaked into her bag when she was on the restroom. I knew that she liked that dress, I saw it in her eyes but the price bothered her so much. I just thought that if I buy it, it would make her happy. So, I bought it for her. Besides, I also kind of want to see her wearing it. I'm sure it would look lovely on her. She wouldn't accept it if I give it to her personally though. So, that's why I secretly put it inside her bag.
I didn't expect her to make it so much of a big deal though but I am a little glad that she did because she got visit my house and we got to talk. She told me about personal things which meant that she trust me and she's comfortable around me. That alone is enough to make me smile like an idiot right now.
The truth is I fell in love with Jennie ever since we were in seventh grade. To me, she was the prettiest girl in the class although she was most probably not aware of that. She was also smart and hard-working. However, she wasn't like other teenagers. It was like there was a huge bubble around her. Nobody wanted to talk to her, nobody wanted to be friends with her, or maybe she's the one who doesn't want to let anyone in her life.
Lord knows how I badly wanted to be friends with but I'm afraid she'll push me away just like what she did with the other kids. It is probably why I also felt like if I tried approaching her, it would be useless. So all this time, I had been just looking at her from afar. She never noticed me anyway.
During the eighth grade, we didn't become classmates and I totally felt so sad about it. Although, a year had passed she was still the Jennie I knew from seventh grade. She still isolate herself from other people and I still am the coward Lalisa.
I never even have a courage to talk to her. I just watched her get prettier every single day and each time, I would fall deeper.
After another year, school started again and I was hoping, not just hoping but praying that she'll be my classmate for the ninth grade but fate probably didn't want us to be together because she belonged to the other section. I was so disappointed because I thought that it would have been the only hope for her to notice me but it was gone. That year, I was still unable to talk to her.
And as usual I was back to loving her from afar.
Everytime I see her down I want to make her smile but I couldn't. Everytime I see her walk alone, eat alone and do things alone, I want to be by her side and do things together.
But I couldn't.
I found out that she lives near Jisoo's place so I asked Jisoo if there's a house available nearby and we she said that there was I was so happy. I'm probably going to sound like a creep but I swear I have no intention of hurting her or doing something to her. I was just contented with looking at her respectfully.
I sound like a loser or weird but what can I do? But as they say, teenagers could be reckless in making decisions when they're in love. I am a living proof to that.
Fortunately we found one and thanks God it was just beside Jennie's. We became neighbors but for some reason, I was still unable to talk to her even though I see her everyday which was making me frustrated.
Later that year, I also found out the reason why Jennie was behaving that way. It probably because she was living alone. She must have gotten used to not having a company.
It made me so sad that she had to experience those kind of struggles at a young age. I might be living alone as well but this is my choice while didn't get to decide. No wonder she'd be looking so lonely each day.
Another year passed, this time I accepted the fact that she can't be my classmate again. I continued looking at her from a distance until one day I came up with a way to at least make her smile. The paper planes, I was the one sending them. I know it's kind of stupid but that's what I decided to do for that moment.
When Jisoo introduced me to Jennie, I swear I was astounded because I have never expected them to be friends. I knew that Jisoo is a social butterfly but it was Jennie. She was different so I was really surprised. I—admit that at some point I was jealous of her.
Just think about it, I have been wanting to be friends with Jennie for three damn years and I failed because I was a coward yet Jisoo only did it in just a single day. She even got Jennie to hang out with us. Ackkk, I wanna have her confidence.
But now that we're finally friends, I'll never let this chance slip ever again. I'm gonna start making my moves.
Jennie Ruby Jane Kim, I swear I'll make you mine.
