Rambles in Blue Jeeps

12/31/18

So it's the end of the year and this is my end of the year post on this weird rambling book thing. Lol.

I hope you all had a great Christmas!

Mine was really nice and relaxing.

But actually...on Christmas eve...I told my mom I'm bisexual.

My sister told her that she was dating a girl and when she didn't react negatively, I swooped in and stole the show hahaha!

I ended up bawling my eyes out.

My mom didn't say much. But she wasn't mean either.

She held me while I cried and told me that she loved me, but I know she's not really "happy" about it. We haven't talked about it since then.

BUT at least I told her. That's what matters.

She may be praying for me every night now lol, but I'm just glad I had the courage to say something.

I'm going to visit my sister in a couple weeks and I'm very excited to meet her girlfriend.

...Mostly because she's rich.

But can you blame me?!

Haha! Apparently she owns multiple houses and they're really nice. She gave my sister a diamond necklace for Christmas and I'm like *sobs* I want a rich girlfriend/boyfriend.

LOL. Even though I am very happy being single.

I just want someone to buy me anything I want and take me out to fancy dinners...is that too much to ask for???

Haha! Anyways, I'm going to get back on track here.

I got pretty much everything I asked for, which wasn't much. It was just a good day.

But now, 2018 is almost over.

I mostly just wanted to talk about this year a little bit...because it's been the best year of my life.

Some pretty amazing things happened:

I started going to college after almost 9 years of being out of school. This was a huge step for me. And it literally changed my whole life. I've really enjoyed it (even though last semester was uber stressful) and I'm excited for my classes next semester. I don't want to go back quite yet, but I have a feeling I'm really going to enjoy my classes next semester.

Another big thing was that I quit my job I'd had for over five years and started a whole brand new one. Which was crazy. I'm so glad to be done with that hellhole and I'm so happy to be working for my new boss ❤️ I've talked about all this before so I'm not going to bore you by repeating all of it.

I also finally accepted that I was bisexual. I came out to all of you in chapter 23 of BD...I still get comments on that just about everyday lol. That was very scary because it was kind of like "no turning back now, you've admitted it now." I may have allowed myself to accept it sooner had my former best friend not said numerous times "thats not a real thing" or "i'm still not sure bisexuality is a real thing." Like it was impossible to come out to her after she said all those things, so what was the point? I might as well just ignore it. I liked boys anyways, it didn't matter if I liked girls or not because I could just pretend. But it wasn't until she was out of my life that I realized that I was in fact bisexual.

Which leads me to my best friend, or former best friend. Who is no longer in my life and I'm...happy. I've talked about this with my family, but I just find it interesting that during the best year of my life and the year that I made the biggest and most positive changes EVER—she wasn't in my life. I feel like that's a huge sign and it's just time to let go of her for good.