Leaving Him - A Canem Story

CHAPTER 4 - Broken-Hearted Again ...

Mevkibe looked at the clock in the shop. Six o'clock ... He would be here soon and she sighed. Ever since Sanem's disappearance, Can would come to the grocery store and spend the evening with them before going back to his house. He had accompanied Nihat several times to the police station. No progress had been made so far and as Sanem was an adult, they had more urgent cases to solve.

Can parked his 4x4 and was quickly in the shop. He greeted Sanem's parents, stayed for five minutes inside and went back to sit in front of the shop window. He reminded Mevkibe of one of these big cats: Can was like a lion in a cage and he needed as much open space as possible.

So every evening, he would sit outside in Sanem's neighborood, outside "Leyla Bakkal", drink a cup of coffee that Mevkibe would prepare for him with some börek. He looked so miserable. She had been so unfair to him. Now she could clearly see that Can did love Sanem desperately but it was too late. She couldn't help but feel responsible for what had happened. Maybe she should have given him the benefit of the doubt, despite his background, it wasn't his fault after all. You don't get to choose the family in which you are born. She had always loved him like a son. She had been so prejudiced.

She looked at him through the window, shoulders down, his head facing the pavement ... He had changed so much during the past month. Ah Sanem! Where were you girl? Tears were running down Mevkibe's cheeks, she was missing her so much! As she heard Nihat's voice, she quickly wiped her tears away and stepped outside the shop.

"Can! My son, good evening. How are you?" inquired Nihat

"Good evening. Any news?"

"No ... I'm sorry ..." as he put his hand on Can's shoulder, squeezing it gently.

"Mrs. Mevkibe, Mr. Nihat. I can't go on like that. The police is not doing anything. I'm becoming crazier by the minute ... so I've decided to hire a private detective to find her. To find Sanem ... and bring her back to me ... to us," said Can with a broken voice.

"Can ... How thoughtful of you it is but ... We can't let you do that, son. It's gonna cost you too much money, we ...," Mevkibe couldn't finish her sentence as she read the despair and sorrow that inhabited Can's eyes.

Nihat looked at his wife and nodded.

"Ok, son. Do it. Tell us if we can be of any assistance," concluded Nihat.

The following day, he was back. A middle-aged man accompanied him. It was an odd fellow with sharp blue eyes and grey hair. Can introduced him and the four of them decided to close the shop and go talk inside the Aydın residence. Mevkibe prepared coffee and tea as they sat in the kitchen. Mr. Öztürk started to ask many questions, simultaneously writing down all the information he deemed relevant for the case.

He insisted on seeing Sanem's bedroom. They all went upstairs and observed the man. He opened drawers and doors. He went through Sanem's unfinished novel, her perfume ingredients, her books. Can followed him and sat on her bed, running his left hand on the pillow. His eyes wandered around the room, stopping on the note that she had stuck to her mirror. He recognized his hand writing ... "Albatros" ... It was the password he had chosen for her to access the agency network. She had given him such a dark look when she had read it. Oh God! He loved her so much when she was angry and feisty. Hurricane Sanem! Boss or not, Sanem had never been afraid to tell Can what she really thought. Honesty was such a rare quality.

He resumed his scan, read the titles of the books on the chest of drawers: "Pride and Prejudice", "Letters to Milena", "Sevda Sözleri" ... His heart cringed. Eventually he spotted her makeup and beauty products. Five perfume containers were nicely aligned in front of the mirror. Each of them was labelled "C." except for a green one. Can got up, took the pot and opened it delicately. The fragrance hit him like lightning. Oh God! He could have sworn that she was here in the room with him ... that she had never left ... The feeling of peace caused by the beloved perfume didn't last long as he came to realize that the main and most essential ingredient was still missing ... Maybe never to return ...

He put the lid back on, slid the pot into the pocket of his coat and left the room. He closed the door. The last time he had been here was during their "war" and when she had refused to admit that she was in love with him. Fed up with Sanem's stubbornness, he had gone home to find her, hours later sat on his lawn. She had finally confessed her love for him, Can's dream had come true and he had spent one of the most memorable nights of his life with Sanem ... well then until ... until ... Can! Get a grip man! You are in her parents' house for God's sake!

The detective left and promised to keep them in the loop of his investigations. Can bid Mevkibe and Nihat goodbye and ran after Mr. Öztürk.

"Wait up! There is something else ... Something that you need to know," announced Can in a trembling voice.

The man stayed silent, waiting for Can's revelation.

"Sanem and I are ... you see ... we are ...," Can paused, "we are intimate. We had split up but the night before her disappearance we were together at my house ... and we made up ... At least, I thought we had ..."

The man nodded, shook Can's hand, entered his car and drove off.

* * *

February had come ... But still no sign of Sanem ... Can Divit was missing too. Only a ghost, a pale imitation of what he had been, continued to haunt the agency. All the jewellery he used to wear had gone. No more necklaces, no more rings, no more bracelets. His hair was loose and growing beyond his shoulders now.

Deren had been forced to take over the direction of the creative department. She was truly hurt to see him like that. She had tried to be of assistance. She had tried to help but she couldn't do anything else but to support the ones mourning Sanem's disappearance. Osman seemed to have taken comfort in her friendship and they had become very close over the last months.

Although she was acting as the effective Creative CEO, Can had remained in his office, turning his desk into a shrine dedicated to Sanem's memory. The origami butterfly was there next to his favourite picture of hers, the one he had taken during the lollypop photo shoot at his house ... Sanem looked like a Greek muse with her simple white dress, a lapis lazuli necklace around her graceful neck and a wreath of daisies perched on top of her delicate head. It was the only picture he had not been able to burn the night he had discovered the truth about her ...

He wore her pink and yellow bandana around his left wrist, it never left him and signs of wear were showing already. The last two keepsakes were the most important ones and he carried them on him at all time of day or night. Wherever he would go, the pot containing her perfume and the box with the ring he had made for her were safely hidden inside the front pocket of his jeans. They had become his new moonstones; they had become his companions; they were all he had left from her.

Can sat at his desk, brushed his hand on the butterfly and took the frame. He carried it to his lips and placed a gentle kiss on the glass. The private detective had come to see him last night and admitted that Sanem could not be found anywhere. He had absolutely no hope to give them and he was sorry to be the bringer of such bad news. Mevkibe cried loudly and Can had trouble to hold up his own tears.

Anyway, he was spared the torture of announcing the news to Sanem's parents as her mother would visit every day to feed him, after he had stopped coming to the neighbourhood. She would take over the kitchen, set covers and waited for him to finish his plate, just like a mother would tend her sick child. He would comply obediently, the only thing he asked of her was not to brew tea for him because tea had the taste of Sanem ... Tea was the colour of the sun reflecting in her hair ... The tea glass was her curvy body ... Tea had simply been banned forever from the Divit house.

That day, Emre was holding a meeting to inform everybody at the agency that Sanem could not be found and that, if needed, some psychological assistance would be provided. Leyla was standing next to him, her hand on his arm. Both were scanning the audience for reactions. Cey Cey and Güliz were crying softly in each other's arms ... Metin was comforting Anela, the new intern ... Leyla quickly smiled at them and Metin responded with an uneasy grin, avoiding Leyla's eyes at all cost ... Such a singular behaviour puzzled her and she became more and more convinced that Metin was hiding something to them.