[Sequel to The Merciless Black List Of Highland High]
Secrets and lies.
The very flesh and bone of the infamous Shameless Foursome guys.
Collin Adamms, the supposed creator of The Shameless Virginity Games, knows what it's like to make mistakes t...
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13 |
heartbreaks and assholes
Wednesday morning is the first time I feel like I can finally swallow the food past the lump that's managed to grow inside my throat after what happened on Friday.
I've been getting better, slowly getting used to to the fact that whatever has been between Collin and me was over, up until the point when he appeared in the living room of my own fucking house. That's when the pain of loss came back, settling into every single cell of my being, and kissing him only made me angrier. At everything. Him - for having the goddamn nerve to be getting high and wasted with Brad, for barging into my room and for fucking everything up even more with acting like his kiss was the last thing I was waiting for. And myself - for letting my guard slip down and allowing the kiss to happen in the first place.
Dwelling on past has never helped anyone, it certainly hasn't helped my mom or me, or even Sarah, when we tried to cope with Dad's loss, but never really tried because we didn't want to let go.
I don't want to make the same mistake with Collin.
He's not here and my life has to go on even without him in it. He might be my first real heartbreak, but he's certainly not about to be the last.
I'm seventeen, for God's sake. There's an abundance of people to fall in love with waiting for me out there somewhere. Well, few months short of turning eighteen, but same difference.
We're sitting in the cafeteria and I've just taken a big bite of my blueberry muffin that came as a part of the breakfast the school serves, because eating here seems like a much better option to me than having to spend more time trapped inside the house with Brad than what's necessary, when Timothy asks, "Have you figured out yet what's our Lit project going to be about?"
Surprised by the question, I shift in the chair a little, trying to swallow before giving him an answer. He continues though, his brown eyes focused on me. "I'm just asking 'cause we have to have the theme chosen by the end of the class today."
"I know," I mumble, looking off to the entrance door, "I'm working on it. You know you can throw in some suggestions as well, right?"
My tone is teasing, not anywhere near as teasing as it once used to be, but judging by the circumstances, I'd say this is the best I can come up with. With everything going on, some bullshit Literature assignment is the last thing I want to occupy my mind with, but I know thinking about something else other than Collin and my mom and Sarah and Bishop's silence and Brad and just everything, focusing on some school work can only be beneficial.
Distractions help with heartbreak, or at least that's what I read in a magazine once, and I'm fully set on testing that theory out myself.
"Hey, I already suggested three people," Timothy draws back slightly, giving me a mock-hurt look, "and let me remind you, you said no to all three of them."
