[Sequel to The Merciless Black List Of Highland High]
Secrets and lies.
The very flesh and bone of the infamous Shameless Foursome guys.
Collin Adamms, the supposed creator of The Shameless Virginity Games, knows what it's like to make mistakes t...
*this chapter is actually one of my favorite ones but also one of the hardest ones i've ever written, and i just want to say, please be aware it contains triggering content. also, please read the author's note at the end, it's important.*
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15 |
one of us
I'm convinced I must be the biggest sucker on planet Earth when it comes to apologizing, because the intention I came here with, and the final outcome couldn't be further from one another.
I came here to apologize. To both, Timothy and Aspen for purposely making them more uncomfortable than necessary at school today, but apparently, there's not a single thing I can do right.
It's frustrating. I want to talk to Aspen, about all of this, because Timothy isn't very cooperative when it comes to clearing some of the stuff I can't remember clearly up, and for some reason, asking him about Aspen feels weird to me. I still haven't figured out how I feel about her, and it's starting to mess with my head because it's been nearly three goddamn weeks and there's still so much important shit that I struggle with. Have I slept with Aspen? Toyed with her and then pushed her away? Is that why she's acting so hot and cold toward me and refuses to come anywhere near me?
I seem to remember nearly everything else about my life, but not that. Sure, I have some memories tied to her, but the more I'm witnessing her reactions toward me, the more I'm beginning to think they are not real at all. It wouldn't be the first time that I've had hallucinations about shit that didn't actually happen, but this feels much worse than some trip I got into after mixing all kinds of pills and snorting my dose. Maybe it's because back then, I didn't give a shit whether the stuff was real or not. I just wanted to feel more relaxed, to get out of my goddamn head and away from the pressure I feel constantly pushing against my chest, to black out for at least a little while, because that way I wouldn't have to be thinking about all the fucked up things that wouldn't leave me alone. But now, it's different. Because maybe this time, I do want to know what's real and what is not. Maybe this time, a slight part of me actually cares.
I'm pacing in front of the gate to the areal of Timothy's house, considering turning around and going back in, just to create a fight and get a damn reaction out of them both, no matter how much worse things could get after that, when Jade's black Range Rover comes to a stop by the curb.
My fists are clenched so hard that I can feel my nails biting into the skin of my palms, and I don't even know what I'm so mad about. I must be going fucking crazy.
"If you don't get in within the next two seconds, I'm leaving," Jade snaps at me through her rolled-down window, giving me a mean glare, and I make the decision not to test her.
I haven't even fully slammed the door shut behind me when she says, "I get that you don't have your car back yet, but I'm not your personal driver, so don't make me one, capiche?"
