In The Eye of the Beholder | Jonathan Crane

September 1991

She takes the long way home

Fighting her emotions

She's a loner

But today she won't go unnoticed

-Bully (Three Days Grace)

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Jonathan was no doubt a genius when it came to chemistry. He could figure out chemical equations faster than even the teacher could sometimes. I, on the other hand, couldn't do anything related to the stupid subject. If it was any type of science, I instantly lost all of my brain cells. My streak of Ds in the class could prove that. That's how I came about begging Jonathan to tutor me at my house.

"Please, Jonathan!" I pleaded as we walked the school's halls to our next class. "I can't afford to fail! Working at my house would be easiest! Dad's gonna be gone so we won't be bothered by him. I'd sit outside, but it's cold today! I'm small! You know my five foot two and 105-pound body can't take the cold! And I'm not allowed on your property. Come on, please? You remember what happened last time I stepped foot on your property."

His grandmother basically chased me away. For such an old woman, she could move pretty quickly.

"Fine! But you'd better hope the old crone doesn't find out. She barely lets me spend time with you as it is," Jonathan finally gave in.

"Thank you!" I cried in relief. He shrugged, which was as good as a 'you're welcome.'

"Why does your grandmother hate me so much anyway?"

"She believes the rumors you're a witch. She thinks you're a seductress, tempting my lust and sin."

"Better be careful then. You'll be in my domain. It'll be easier to tempt you," I teased. Jonathan let out an annoyed sigh while shaking his head, but he couldn't hide the small smile that adorned his lips.

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A few hours later I was walking home alone. Jonathan had chores to finish and then he'd be over. He said he would anyway. If the bitch didn't stop him.

I happened to pass by Bo Griggs and his group of friends. I kept my head down in an attempt to be invisible to them. It didn't work. They surrounded me before I could get away.

"Don't you guys have anything better to do? Leave me alone," I mumbled.

"No way Connery. Remember when you said you'd make your boyfriend stop staring at Sherry?" Bo growled.

"It isn't my fault he doesn't listen to me!" I lied. They didn't need to know I never told Jonathan what Bo said. "And Jonathan isn't my boyfriend!"

"Make him listen, Connery!" Ricky, one of Bo's friends, shouted.

"It's not my job. What does it matter if he looks but he doesn't do anything? Sherry would never even look at Jonathan anyway," I said quickly, noticing Bo and his friends were getting closer.

"You're just saying that to save your own skin," Bo said. I turned away from them.

"If I could curse you, I would," I mumbled. Someone grabbed my arm. I quickly realized my mistake.

"Wait! I didn't actually mean that!" I cried, feeling the grip on my arm tighten. I glanced behind me and immediately started struggling.

Ricky had produced a box of matches from his pocket.

"No, I swear they were just words!" I begged.

"They were not just words. You're a witch. And you know what happens to witches?" Bo asked. I felt tears fill my eyes when Ricky lit a match.

"They burn."

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Jonathan was waiting at my front door when I finally got home. I tried to hide my tears as I went to unlock the door. My fingers burned as I fumbled with the key.

"Is something wrong, Amber?" Jonathan asked.

"No, I'm fine. Is it okay if we study in my room?" I asked when I opened the door.

"Yes, that's fine."

I led Jonathan to my bedroom. I sat on my bed and motioned for him to join me. He hesitated.

"Come on, I'm not actually going to seduce you," I teased. He did sit but did so slowly. "Could I if I tried? You don't seem like the kind of person easily tempted."

"It would be difficult," he agreed. "Then again, I doubt you could get anyone into your bed. You're far too quiet and shy around people you don't know."

"Hush you. We're here to talk about chemistry, not my ability to get people into bed."

"Both of which you have no abilities in," he answered as he pulled out his book.

"Shut up. Help me, don't insult me."

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"What is wrong with your hands?" Jonathan asked about twenty minutes into our study session.

"Nothing. I already said-"

"Stop lying to me. Every time you touch something you either bite your lip or you grimace. Let me see them."

"There's nothing wrong," I said again.

"Give them to me."

Giving up, I let him take my hands. He touched the blisters that formed on my fingers gently. Each time he touched them I tried to pull away.

"What happened?" Jonathan asked, finally letting go of my hands. "And don't lie to me."

So I told him. I told him Bo and his friends had held me while Ricky pressed lit matches to my hands. I noticed Jonathan start to shake as I told him.

"They did this to you?" Jonathan asked. I nodded.

"Excuse me for a moment," he said, getting up from my bed. He went into the bathroom across the hall. I stared after him in surprise. I heard water running. It was about five minutes before he came back.

"What were you doing?" I asked when he finally came back into the room.

"I needed to calm myself. I-I didn't want to scare you if I had started to... lose control."

He knew I was afraid of loud noises. He remembered and actually cared enough to leave in case he lost his cool.

"Thank you for remembering my fear of loud noises. But Jonathan, can we forget about this? It was my fault. I know what they think I am and I used a poor choice of words when talking to them. So please don't do anything."

"Why did they do it?" he growled. I pulled away from him. Him growling was becoming almost a common occurrence. It honestly was starting to scare me.

"It was just something stupid I said. It's not important. Please let it go," I lied. He knew I was lying. I knew he knew I was lying. But how could I tell Jonathan it was because of him?

"I am not letting-"

"Please? Can we-can we study? I don't understand equilibrium," I pushed him to let it go.

"Fine."

"Thank you, Jonathan," I whispered. He nodded and continued to talk me through the lesson. Yet I could tell Jonathan wouldn't put what I'd said to rest. I hoped he wouldn't do anything about it.

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A/N: Ok, so I've finally caught up with all my schoolwork and I should be able to update more regularly now. As always, please inform me of how I can make things better!