My Life Is Not For Sale

Is It What It Seems Or Just Another Dream

Sidra, Sin, and I stood front row at the concert, watching the last opener before Seek the Lost came on. I was so excited I could barely stand it.

In less than an hour, the fucking flawless Charlotte Sinful would be dancing around onstage in front of me and singing. And then I would get to meet her.

Could this night get any better?

No. No it could not.

Sidra and I danced together (keeping it sister-friendly, mind you) to the band that was currently on, Define This Moment. They weren't something I would usually listen to, but they were still cool.

They finished their set and left, and the crew came on to get the stage ready for Seek the Lost to play. They had music I didn't recognize playing over the loudpseakers, and I decided to check my phone during the wait.

After a few minutes, Sin squealed excitedly over something. I turned to look, and saw her hugging Zain. Well, more like squeezing the life out of him.

"I missed you so much!" Sin exclaimed over the music. "I missed you too, ya little demon!" he told her playfully, but I saw hurt flash through her eyes.

Sin finally released him and smiled at him. Anyone else would think it was real, but like Bring Me The Horizon put it, "Every day I must practice to fake this smile on my face."

I know a fake smile when I see one.

She was hurting.

Zain finally faced Sidra and I and hugged us both tightly. "How are you girls doing?" he asked us. "Amaaaaazing!" I replied happily. This time Sin's smile was real.

"Well good." Zain smiled, and I felt that familiar pain in my chest. I know he was supposed to be my "uncle," but I've never looked at him that way, ever.

I remember from the time I was little (after Sin left, of course, I don't remember anything before that) thinking he was really cute, and when I was 14, I realized I actually did have feelings for him.

Lucky me, I'm brutally honest and open when I'm super tired, and I told him that I liked him. Ever since, he's shyed away from me a bit.

I understand why, obviously, but it didn't hurt any less. That same week, I hooked up with Storm, more as a way to let go of my emotions, and that was when Storm and I started dating.

You're probably thinking I'm a creepy slut now, and you know what, I'm human, I have hormones, so shut up cuz you're a human with hormones too.

I started fiddling around on my phone again while Zain talked to Sidra and Sin. Finally, the music on the loudspeakers stopped, and the band ran on stage.

First was the drummer, Drake. After him, the bassist, Collin, ran out, followed by lead guitarist Blade, and then rhythym guitarist Jack.

They took their positions and started playing the intro to their song, "I Won't Save You." The crowd was already going wild, and I was about to die from excitement.

Finally, Charlotte ran out on stage and grabbed the mic off the stand. She moved to stand right in front of me and did a little belly dance. Fuckin Dad probably said something.

I was so happy I honestly thought I would faint.

She smirked at me, then started singing

You left me behind

You left me behind

And hoped I'd die inside

I started to bleed