About Her...

Love

From the times when you pulled my hair and made me cry a little. To the times when you said something which made no sense but I still laughed so hard that I cried.
Even when I didn't realise it, I loved you.
It all started when my mom introduced me to you because I was too shy to even look at your face. When I come to think of it, you have always been so... pure.
I was always mesmerized by these little details of your face.
Whether it was your eyes that held so much love for life that they twinkled or your perfect smile when you stretched your mouth too much and complained about it hurting after. . You made me the happiest I could be.
Then came a phase in my life where I lost myself, to whom?
I'm not entirely sure myself. Maybe it was social media, or these cheese traps my mind sets for me sometimes. All I know is, it cost me you.
Those little outings where I would talk and talk for hours but you would still listen with utmost attention, giving your little insights as I went along. Or when we would play wrestle with each other until you would let me win eventually. I would say we grew apart because we grew up. But I like to think we would still be the same if you were still here. It hurts me because we are still so close yet so far away. You still smile at me, but you complain about your hurting jaw to someone else. Your eyes still twinkle with love but it is no longer for life, it is for her. You have lost your purity and I have lost mine. But you still gained her while I just lost you.
Now whenever I think about what could have been, I just think to myself," Goddamnit Vanya, you lost another one."