Let Me Help | Tyrus (complete!)

I Want To

TJ thought he was dreaming, no, he thought someone was playing a cruel joke on him. Did that really just happen? As he sat there hugging Cyrus on Buffy's couch, TJ's world was alright, he forgot about his math final, his parent's empty marriage, the money from the shift he had to take off to be here. Things were okay, Cyrus liked him, he liked Cyrus, there was nothing that could ruin it. But as Cyrus let go of him, the fear set in. He didn't know what to do next, was he supposed to kiss him? Ask him on a date? Ask to be his boyfriend? Cyrus looked up at him and gave him a timid smile, Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God. Tj hoped Cyrus couldn't see the sweat collecting on his forehead. Tj looked around the room and looked down to see Cyrus still holding his hand. Are my hands sweaty? 

"Hey," Cyrus said softly, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Tj tried to convince himself. Nothing was wrong, but TJ knew things could go wrong. Cyrus squeezed his hand a bit, "I just don't know what to do now," he admitted and gave Cyrus an anxious smile. 

"Me neither," Cyrus give a soft chuckle. Cyrus wore a cat sweater in a disgusting shade of green, his hair was combed back, and his cheeks were a little pink. TJ felt himself staring, he looked away for a moment. 

"What now?" TJ wished this were a movie, he wished someone could come in and edit this part out. He just wanted to get to the part where they're kissing in the rain or sharing a milkshake. Maybe Amber was right, he did watch too many French films. 

"Whatever you want it to be," Cyrus said as he put his head back on TJ's shoulder. TJ sat motionlessly, he didn't want to disrupt Cyrus. 

"Teej!" they heard Amber calling to them, "Tee-" Amber stopped mid-stride as she entered the living room, her smile turned into a knowing grin, "Come outside, we're making smores," she gave a quick wink to TJ and smiled as she walked away. 

TJ held his breath, "She knows," he joked with Cyrus. Cyrus laughed, it was better than any film score. 

"Twintuition," Cyrus said.

"How do you know about that?" TJ said suspiciously and gave a lopsided smile.

"What do you mean how do I know about it? You two are literally the definitions of it," Cyrus said as he stood up, "Come on, I don't want to miss the smores." Cyrus took his hand and led him outside. TJ stopped him before they got out the door.

"Wait," TJ said as he pulled Cyrus into a side hallway. 

"What is it?" Cyrus said worriedly.

"I-" Tj looked down at their interconnected hands. 

"Oh," Cyrus took his hand away.

"No no no it's not that," Tj said as he quickly grabbed it again. 

Cyrus looked up at him and blinked "Then what is it?"Don't mess this up TJ. TJ gulped and heard the hum of his friend's laughter from outside. 

"Them? They're our friends T, plus I have a growing suspicion that they knew before us," Cyrus raised an eyebrow. Tj didn't know what was wrong with him, why couldn't he just let himself be happy? 

"I know but," Tj didn't know what he wanted to say, he scratched behind his ear. Everything was moving too quickly, he hadn't expected to confess today, he hadn't prepared himself. How do you even prepare for something like this?

"But it's too fast?" Cyrus said apprehensive, he stepped a little closer. Tj held his breath.

"You could say that," Tj couldn't look him in the eyes. What was he supposed to say? Cyrus, I want to be with you? Cyrus, you know you're my favorite person and I want to give you all the puppies in the world? Cyrus, you make living worth it, I'm afraid of losing you, you make me feel like I'm in a Jean Cocteau film? He ground his teeth a bit, Cyrus tightened his grip.