WS Appraisal Room (OPEN)

04] Darkest Days

Author: Chinshurui
Critique Steward: chingchongpajibar

[Title]

The title pretty much fits your plot, except that I, personally, think that such an apocalypse isn’t really humans’ darkest days because having monsters are impossible to find but okay, I also know that your book is fictional and more living in your imagination. I loved it.

[Cover]

For your book cover, I can’t really say anything because of I don’t have the eye for arts and stuff like that, but to me it looks appealing. I kind of like the paper burning effect and behind that, it shows the abandoned building which really sets the mood for your genre.

[Description/Summary]

Your summary was great and more than what I expected but I suggest you add a little conversation that attracts attention as if like they will be confused as to what this character means or why did he said that. Kind of like, “They are here, we have no escape.”

(Honestly, that’s trash. I just did that as an example...)

[Prologue/Blurb]

The prologue was quite catchy, though you could have added some scenes and not just conversations.

[Characterization]

I think that your character’s personality was a bit not in character. In my perspective and liking, I would be choosing her as an anti-social so when the apocalypse starts, she will be like, “Oh great, now I have to save more people and my anxiety is crying.” But giving her friends is also a good idea so you can kill them one by one.

[Cleanliness]

I have noticed a few words and sentences that weren’t grammatically correct or doesn’t have the right punctuation marks.

✎ I think this is just a typo or you haven’t noticed yet, but when you narrated, “Danger zone are here, there and everywhere.” It should be, “Danger ZONES are here, there and everywhere.”

[Dialogues & Narrations]

✎ Besides your grammar, which I know isn’t intended and you just haven’t noticed it, there are some words that are not punctuated correctly.

* yan— ‘yan
* nun— no’n
* yung— ‘yong
* diba— ‘di ba
* nung— no’ng
* san— sa’n

✎ Sometimes there are also sentences that has ended with a dot and then next sentence without spacing. So if you have the time to edit those, you should.

[Plot]

Your chosen story line is indeed unique. Although people choose it too but doesn’t deliver it accordingly and properly. You decided to do it in the near future time and year so it made me more amazed.

Just a side note:
I think you have the talent to write either a story or a novel. Just keep on practicing and doing what you think is best, and you will achieve being a successful writer if that’s your desire. Thank you so much for letting me do your book critiques! ♡

Highest Steward,