i don’t remember when it was, but you asked me something that is going to stick with me forever. you asked me if i still love you the way i did then and i didn’t know how to tell you the truth so i just told you that “i don’t know” because i wish i didn’t know. but i know. i know all too well.
i wish i still loved you the way i did then because then i could prove it to you or maybe to myself that i’m capable of feeling anything for more than just a moment’s time. and fuck do i wish i could feel anything for more than just a moment’s time.
i think you knew the answer before you even asked me. i think you just wanted to double check. you know that i have problems and i know that you have problems, but now your problems are bigger than what i could have ever hoped to be and i know you wouldn’t want me to call myself a problem, but i know that’s all i’ll ever actually be.
i wanted to stay the same for once. for you.
