what the fuck is wrong with my body or my brain or both and why can’t i just fucking love myself or care about my wellbeing
its bullshit that i can’t ever feel well rested even if i sleep for three days even if i sleep for three months even if i fucking kill myself
even if i fucking kill myself
i won’t
i’m not that kind of guy anymore
or maybe just not for now anyway
just a few more years just a few more years just a few more
i want to be something i want to be so big and so small and so full and so spacious and so hot and so cold and what is it that i really want
maybe i just want to be what you want or what you need and i mean
we know that’s never going to happen
i’m up in your fucking dream catcher and it’s where i belong it’s what i deserve after everything i’ve ever done
to you
to them
to myself
