A Bite of the Apple

9 - Yearning

It didn't take too long for me to be discharged from hospital. The doctors said the repair was a simple job and I suffered no complications. I was sent home with some tablets and a medical certificate explaining to my workplaces why I had been gone for so long.

My bosses at my primary job as a law firm receptionist were understanding. Once I told them I had been stabbed in the stomach during a mugging, they congratulated me on my recovery and welcomed me back to work. My side gig at the theatre, however, was more strict. I was a lighting technician - a very crucial role. But I wanted to be one of the dancers. I had been dancing for most of my life, and I even had a crew that I danced with when I wasn't working or with my friends. It is also difficult to be one of the dancers, so I settled with watching, waiting, until one day I could achieve my dream. Still, they had to accept my certificate, regardless of their grumbling.

Soon enough, life returned to normal. I worked. I ate. I slept. I spent time with my friends. I danced with my crew. I danced at home alone. All the usual things I had been doing for ages. But they had all lost their color somehow. It was like the moisture had evaporated from all the paints on my palette, leaving nothing but dry, grainy powder. Where was the water? Where was the life? I had lived like this for years? My mind couldn't comprehend it.

My friends, of course, were brilliant. They knew something was up, and they did their best to lift me up. Bring me back to normal. They are the best friends I could ask for, which was why guilt ate at my stomach. No matter what they did, I wasn't quite satisfied. And they knew where my mind was at. They knew what I was thinking of.

Siyeon.

I just couldn't forget her. Or the Nightmares. Or any of those things that had happened. With no real outlet for it, how could I? No one would believe me. I had to settle for that mugging story. My friends thought I should be over it after a month or two. But I wasn't. I had seen things. I traveled into what might have been another dimension. I spoke with beings who escaped my comprehension. I met a real live witch.

And I had nobody to turn to.

My friends suggested that I see a doctor about this, and I agreed. I didn't want them to be frustrated with me. I saw the doctor alone. He referred me for therapy. I didn't want to go, but Minji urged me over and over. Eventually I gave in.

It was Minji who took me to my first psychologist's appointment. She held my hand while I haltingly went through my made up story again. Oh, the mugger had a knife. I was so scared. Minji gazed at me with such compassion I wanted to melt. And all the while the guilt ate my insides at all the lies I was weaving. Because if I told the truth, I would be called crazy. I would lose my friends for sure. There was nothing to be done but to get over it.

After a while longer, I did. The solution I had decided on was to tell the truth, but rationalizing it as a metaphor for what I felt. That way everyone listened to me properly. I could finally say what I wanted to say. And no-one called me a loony.

Once I was able to do that, everything felt a lot lighter. Freer. I could finally begin to move on.

Sometimes I wish I could say that the story ended there. But it didn't.

One night, as I was curling up into bed, I heard a knock on the door. My immediate thought was Minji. Or Yoohyeon. They usually had some sort of trouble brewing.

I got out of bed, scratched my head, and made my way to my door. The knocking came again, more vigorously this time.

"Alright, I'm coming!" I called.

When I opened the door, I gasped.

It was Siyeon. She stood there in front of me like a vision from a fairy-tale. The lights in the hallway shone through and highlighted her hair. Her soft brown eyes were dancing with mirth, as if she knew the answer to the most difficult riddle in the world. And her smile, oh her smile...gentle. Warm. Earnest. I don't know how to describe all of this. And she was looking right at me.

I gave a shy smile in return. "Hey," I said, fiddling with my hair.

Siyeon simply held her hand out. "Come with me."

I felt her energy thrum through the air. I felt it in my chest, in my throat, in my bones. All it took was one quick glance around me to make up my mind.

I placed my hand in hers. "Okay."

And we vanished together in a flash of red light.