Kitsune of one thousand strings

Why is it always me

      Sry that this is so short but I have to little motivation for writing and not dyeing in general so it's got to be short. It's also short because I plan on putting something at the end for the sake of dramatic effect.
*coughcough* cliff hanger *coughcough*
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      After planing for the coming battle, the conversations moved to more light hearted topics.

      "...So yeah, by the end of that mission Gozu had a set of double D knockers each bigger then my head. Luckily it was only temporary.  But the awkward tension between him and his brother after That Night was palpable for weeks. Even though I didn't know it was him at the time I also learned that even though he's a dude Gozu can give one h@ll of a ti-"

      "Zabuaza! There are children here! Brat."

      "Who are you calling brat, you brat?!"

      "Shut. Up. Before I rip off your sword."

      "How would you rip it of, it's not like it's attached to me."

      "That depends on which sword we're talking about, now doesn't it?"

      "Shutting up now." Said a now pale Zabuza.

      Once again Kakashi took control of the convo.

      "Alright what are we going to do about the sleeping arrangements? There was enough rooms for us all. Then someone decided to knock down a few walls. Now there isn't enough rooms."

      "You and me can stay in a room as I assume you would like to keep and eye on me. Naruto and Haku can stay in a room next to ours and Pinky and Duckbutt can stay on the other side so that we can hear what ever goes on." Zabuza proposed, staring Haku dead in the eye and secretly giving a wink and thumbs up to him.

     "No way! I can't stay with the banshee! For all I know she'll try to rape me in my sleep!" Complained a certain duckbutt.

     *cue dramatic sigh from the dramatic one* "you poor poor fool. I advise you too run." The dramatic one said with pity in his voice.

     "What are you talking about?! BAKA!"

     "If you were to turn around you would notice that Sakura is now, as I like to say, knife happy."

     "Knife happy?"

     "Yes" responded a menacing voice behind him. As he turned around all he saw was a dark black figure with the glint of a steel blade in one hand and white eyes. "Knife happy"

     With those words the black figure swung their blade with deadly speed but just as the duckbutt was about to lose his head the blade stoped just millimeters from his jugular. At first everyone thought that Sakura had, unfortunately, decided to spare the fool for some bizarre reason, then they noticed that the blade had only stoped because it was caught by a pair of chopsticks. Every ones eyes trailed up the two sticks to see who they belonged to. At the very end a fully formed hand made of nothing but chakra strings was holding it. Once they saw it all but Sakura, who instantly leveled a glare on the one responsible, and Zabuza, who went back to eating, grew surprised and curious of who had made the construct and followed the string right back to Naruto's sleeve.

        "Tsunami I must say your cooking is simply superb. If it weren't for the fact that we live in different country's I would drop to one knee now just so I could get it for the rest of my days." At his honeyed words Tsunami blushes like a schoolgirl, Inari's brow twitched several times and Haku stiffened before discreetly glaring at the single mother. At the same time two beings thought 'so it's true. The way to a mans heart is through his stomach. I need to learn how to cook.'

     "Hey you mothe-"

     "Watch your tongue."

     At first the only response was a growl before a the same voice spoke again, calmer this time.

     "At least one thousand times I have told you to leave me alone. I could have just ended the duckbutt here and now but noooo you just had to go and ruin it. And let go of my kunai."

     At these words the mini bad@ss cracked a single eye open and stared his teammate dead in the eye "And at least one thousand times I have told you *chakra stings crack like a whip sending the kunai back over Naruto's shoulder at blinding speed only to be caught and wrapped like a spool of thread in chakra stings* no kunai, swords, battle axes, exploding tags, B rank or above jutsu, or any other tools of murder at the dinner table Sakura" (that's not a reference just sarcasm) He responded with upmost calm as if he did this far to often for a regular man to remain sane. Then with a brief gust of gentle wind flowing through the room as his strings turned silver and tightened around the kunai and cutting right through it like a red lightsaber through rebel scum (now that's a reference) and leaving dozens of perfectly cut shards of metal raining to the floor like water in a storm.

     "Not that this isn't extremely entertaining but I think that it would be best to draw this night to a close and head to bed." Zabuza spoke up and made his opinions clear. "Seeing as no one important objected *small cry of anger in background* we will stick with the sleeping arrangements that I have suggested."

    "No we can't d-" Haku attempted to voice a complaint but was quickly cut off.

    "Well I'm going to bed good night. Maybe you should do the same Haku. After all you like your privacy don't you?"

     Haku just sat in silence haveing surrendered to her- I mean his fate. (If you haven't caught into the "foreshadowing" ,which is a term I am using very loosely at this point, that I have been laying out the past six chapters you as dense as a neutron Star)

        Time skip

     As Naruto went over to the his temporary room he didn't bother to knock as he figured Haku had already gone to sleep. As he opened the door he found out that Haku wasn't sleeping as he had been in the bath for several hours apparently and also learned that he wasn't a he, judging by the very, very prominent mounds on his- I mean her chest.

     Naruto just sighed and walked right past Haku, who was standing there frozen, and plopped down on his bed. As he flopped down he spoke "I'm going to bed, goodnight." Before grumbling under his breath as hysterical laughter filled his head.

     "Why is it always me."