Friends to Lovers

Friends to Lovers Pt. 7

I dreamed a dream in time gone by
When hope was high and live worth living
I dream that love would never die
I dreamed that god would be forgiving
Then I was young and unafraid
And dreams were made and used and wasted
There was no ransom to be paid
No song unsung, no wine untasted

But the tigers come at night
(But the tigers come at night)
With their voice as soft as thunder
As they tear your hope apart
(As they tear your hope apart)
As they turn your dream to shame

And still I dream she'll come to me
That we'll live the years together
But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are storms we cannot weather

I had a dream my life would be
So different from this hell I'm living
So different now from what it seemed
Now live has killed the dream I dreamed

By the end of the song the whole room was quiet and I had tears in my eyes, but no one except Xavier noticed that. He looked at me, eyes filled with concern.
The silence in the room was interrupted when a girl started clapping. Soon, the whole room was applauding. Xavier hugged me and wiped away my tears. "You did well."
Soon silence fell again and some fell asleep.
Xavier and I kept on talking for a while.
"So, I guess your talk with Lucy was successful?" We laid in bed, looking at each other.
"Yup. But more important, why did you cry?" He looked worried, again. "I, uh...just thought about my old faction. Nothing to worry about." I tried to smile at him and he quietly laughed at my pathetic attempt. You don't have to tell me, but if you want to, I'll be here. Good night." He kissed my cheek and went to sleep.
I stayed awake for a while.

When I woke up the next morning, Eric and Four stood by the stairs, discussing something. The others were still asleep.
I decided to take this opportunity to take a long shower. Getting my towel and a change of clothes from under my bed I walked to the shower area and turned on the water.
"You're already up." Four walked over to me. "Yup. Ha to take the chance to shower in private." He laughed at my comment, shaking his head. "I remember that. You'll love the showers after initiation. You can even lock the doors!" We kept on laughing, until Eric stepped in.
"Go take your shower, we are going to wake the others soon." His face was stern again. Typical leader mode.
"Yes sir!" I turned around, beginning to shed my clothes. Four and Eric retreated to the stairs to gi2ve me some privacy.
The shower wasn't as good as the one at Eric's place, but it was quite okay.
I just finished putting my clothes on again when Eric woke the others. Four has disappeared to somewhere. "I want to see all of you in five minutes in the training room!" After that, he too, left.
I went back to where Xavier put his clothes on and together with Lucy, we walked to the training room.
Eric was waiting at the knife throwing stand, polishing said knives.
"Today we'll train throwing knives. I'll show you and you'll have all day practising. And if any of you, hit me, don't think I won't kill you just because you're only sixteen."
He really did show us hoe tor throw it correctly. Once.
He showed us one time how to do it and didn't even bother helping us during practise. Asshole.

Xavier and I stood beside each other, throwing one knife after the other. It wasn't going all too bad. Most of the time, I hit the body that was displayed before us, sometimes even the targets that were drawn on it. But most of the time I missed. At least I was strong enough to throw my knife so it could reach the wall. Most of the knifes fell to the floor midway.
"Focus when you throw. And stand a little more sideways." Four grabbed my hips and positioned me right.
I quietly thanked him and tried again. This time it landed much closer to the target. "Much better." Four squeezed my shoulder and went on.
"Ahm, Four! I think I, too, need help!" Xavier called out to Four, who just rolled his eyes as a respond. Still, the small smile on his lips betrayed him. "With all due respect Xavier, I don't think he is gay." Xavier pouted at my comment and I laughed again.
"Hey! Focus!" Eric stalked towards us. "We're just having a little fun Eric. Calm down." I looked at him with raised eyebrows, not understanding what happened to make him this angry.
"Don't talk to me like that, initiate!" That hurt. "I thought it was (Y/N), but apparently I was wrong." It only came out as a whisper, but Eric still understood me. He turned around and signed me to follow him. I did, and that was the biggest mistake I ever made.
He walked to one of the mats, stripping off his boots and jacket, he climbed up.
"Come on, initiate. Or are you scared?" He smirked at me. He knew that I would not let him call me that, and he used that to his advantage.
"There is seriously not one day I don't get involved into a fight." Xavier, who has followed me chuckled which earned a death stare from Eric. Let's just say he shut up, immediately.
I climbed onto the mat, waiting for Eric to say something. Instead he lunged at me. I ducked under his right arm and came out behind him.
"I won't fight you Eric!" I looked him in the eyes after he turned around. "Take all the points you want from me. This is not bravery! This is foolishness! I would never be able to win against you, at least not now. So do whatever you want, but I won't do this." I jumped down and walked back to my knives, continuing to practise. All eyes were on me and Eric, waiting what he was going to do next.
"Follow me." He walked towards the exit. I followed him, not wanting to despise him more than necessary.
We walked for a few minutes, until he stopped and turned around.
"Are you fucking serious?!" He grabbed my wrists and pinned them over my head against the wall. "Just because I knew you in my past, doesn't mean that you can go around talking like that to me!" His grip on wrists tightened and that hurt, but the words that left his mouth hurt more.
"You knew me? Are you sure? Because I thought I knew you, but I'm not sure anymore." He let go of my wrists and took a step back. "(Y/N), look, I..." "Save it for someone who still cares Eric! Because I, sure as hell don't anymore." I ran down the hallways, just wanting to get away from my so called best friend. After a lot of running, I found myself in the dorm, standing opposite from a mirror.
Tears were streaming down my face and my eyes were red and puffy from all the crying and rubbing.
"Do you want to tell me something?" Four stood on the stairs, looking at me through the mirror.
"If you really want to know, sit down. This is going to be a long talk."

"My father has never been the nicest guy. He always yelled at my mother and sometimes hit her too. I once tried to interfere, and let's just say it didn't end to well. Then, when I was seven years old my mother and my older sister just left overnight and all my fathers anger focused on me. He began hitting me daily, with his belt, a stick or just his hands.
He also knew when anything important happened in school. For example school nurse check-ups and when the school photographer came. A few days before those things happened, he left me alone. Not touching me, but he also never talked to me during that time.
Anyway, Eric was the only one that knew about that. He was my best and only friend, especially after my mother and sister left. He was the only that was there for me. He kept me from doing...things...many times. He saved my life and then he left. He just changed faction, leaving me completely alone. I always thought he really liked me. And I wasn't really able to hate him after he changed faction. So I went to see him on visiting day. I asked one of his trainers to tell him I was waiting for him, he never came. I sat there till visiting day was over. When I got back, my father was already waiting for me.
After that I really thought that he never liked me. But...after everything that happened when I slept at his place I had hope again. That everything would be the same as it was, even better! And now...he destroyed all that hope with one sentence. Now I finally realised that what you said is true. I'm sorry Four. For lying to you and for not trusting you. Apparently you know my best friend better than I do."