Therapy Is Boring... Or Is It??? (AntisepticeyeXReader)

Chap 1: Meeting

Y/N is 25 turning 26, you're a stable person. You don't do anything interesting in your spare time or anything out of the ordinary at all. Just your same daily routine eat breakfast, go to work, break, more work then watch youtube while eating dinner, sleep and the cycle starts all over again. If someone ever asked you if you wanted to change anything about your life, you wouldn't. You'd never want to give up the position you have in life because you have worked so hard and went through some much pain to get here. You have no worries and no problems, you have enough money to keep you going but you wished that you could maybe just have something a bit different happen, something exciting happen. Everything is the same, even work is the same as always, you always have the same five patients, you never have a new client.

So you proceeded to work as usual and set up your small office but during so someone steps into your office. You weren't expecting anyone for at least an hour, so this was a complete surprise. You turn around to see a just below average height man standing in between the door. He had a thin black beard and a short messy side hairstyle which you adored but you didn't show that. He told you that your boss had allowed him to visit you since nobody else was available so you invite him to sit down and asked him 

"So what's your name?"

He replied "Sean McLoughlin" you sat there thinking, I am sure I know that name

You then proceed to say "Hello Sean McLoughlin, my name is F/N L/N and may I ask if this is your first therapist or therapy session?"

"Umm, yeah" he then fidgets unsure of what to do

"So Sean I want you to know that if you have any questions, ask them. Just be as open as you can be with me. But know I will never force you to say/do anything that you are uncomfortable with"

Sean nods and you notice he starts feeling a bit more comfortable

"Sean, may I ask why you came here?"

"Well Y/N I haven't been feeling as energetic and as well as I use to be. I realised this after I took Christmas break. I was going to take a few days off but I kept getting these scary, worrisome and a bit disturbing thoughts. They kept telling/showing me all these rejections and fears I never thought I had. I am not sure how to describe it honestly. It was like my brain was torturing itself. I know it doesn't sound bad but honestly, this year has burnt me out and I just don't know what to do about it, how to react or how to cope? I feel stuck, unable to do anything but watch, watch with sheer pain."

"Hhmm... That does sound terrible. So why do you think this scares you, what about these thoughts scares you?"

"I think it is the fact that my mental health over quite some time has been deteriorating and I didn't realise. Until I was forced to look at my thoughts and feelings. I am normally such a happy and bubbly person not just to the camera but everyone. I work on a platform where I must consistently continue that grind. Continue that happy bubbly personality all the time even if I was sick, tired or just sad I had to put on that happy bubbly personality. It was at that moment I realised I was starting to lie, to myself and my fans."

"It must be hard to 24/7 be that person. I can see how it would break down anyone if they went through what you had."

You see Sean's eyes start looking teary but you continue seeing how far you can push Sean without hurting him.

"How much do your fans and this platform mean to you?"

"They mean everything to me. Without them and the platform, I don't know what I would be doing. But I have lost my spark and I feel the pressure getting to my head, bringing my mentality down. I mainly fear if I let down my fans."

"Well everybody fears something. I personally have two fears Cleithrophobia and Dishabiliophobia they're both pretty unusual fears but come from a traumatic experience"

"That sounds horrible but what do those mean?"

"You only get to know one of them."

"Fair enough, I am just interested. So what is Cleithrophobia?"

"Well, Cleithrophobia is the fear of being trapped more specifically being locked up. Unlike Claustrophobia which is just merely being in a small space, I can understand if people have that fear though. I have this fear because if I was trapped I would not be able to escape or control the circumstances, I would not even know what will happen. That you can only rely on someone else to save you if they don't get, they get trapped themselves or hurt."

"Wow, I have never thought that deeply about how terrifying it would be to be trapped"

"Sorry for getting a bit off track, I hope you don't mind, I just want to make sure you don't feel alone with that subject. So who else in your life do you talk to, is there someone else you have opened up about this subject too."

"I appreciate you telling me that. Well, I have my family but I don't get to talk much to them especially since I've moved and because of my job. I haven't told anyone about this I really want to though, especially my fans. I just don't know how to because I am truly lost on how I feel and how to explain it."

You notice he starts to breathe heavier trying to contain his growing sorrow. So you decide to ask more simple questions, to calm him down.

~~~ After some questions ~~~

"So we have finished your 50 minutes therapy session, I hope you enjoyed and hope to see you again soon Sean"

"Thank you for just talking to me. Even though this is my first therapy session, it feels great to be able to open up about this. Especially since I have a better idea of what this is."

"I will leave the paperwork for you and then you can pay and be on your way."

"Haha I see what you did there"

"Why thank you"

You look at his face and see a small cute and delicate smirk on his face which to a normal person who didn't know him is nothing but to you it looked like it could rise a hundred spirits and you hope to be able to raise his spirits and his mental health to help him not just show it to others but feel it, happiness. Even though you have only known him for a short time you feel like you have known him for years.

He then leaves the room with a wave goodbye and you shoot him a sincere smile in return. You continue with your workday day with a bit more optimism and energy.