You are a boring therapist who does the same thing over and over again and nothing exciting ever happens to you. That is until your patient is none other than Sean McLoughlin but after a while, things start to become complicated.
I won't be updating...
You are home after a very long and tiring day at work. You slump onto your couch and watch Jack's newest video Refunct. You watch it just listening to Jack talk about what fascinates and interests him. You watch not so much the gameplay but the relaxation in his sweet, soft and smooth Irish voice. About twelve minutes in you hear Jack talk about what he feels important; which is what you do is to keep trying, the only way you can lose is if you give up. And you feel something unique because whenever you see one of your clients feel better about themselves it in a way shines a light in your mostly bland heart. This is similar except two times as impacting. In fact, you hear him in a way quote you in the gameplay. Which makes you feel more than honoured.
This was exactly what you needed to hear after that long exhausting day of work. Just a little reminder of how it always is worth it, no matter who, what, when, where or why.
You realise that you have actually helped Sean grow. This is the most accomplished you have ever felt ever since you first start doing this job.
~~Time Skip~~
You are silently working in your office when you hear 'knock, knock' at the door you walk over to the door to reveal Sean.
"What a pleasant surprise!" You say knowing he hadn't booked his session yet but you allow him inside to take a seat.
He comes inside and sits down in a slight sorrow mood and he says trying to avoid eye contact without realising. He says
"Y/N you have helped me get through a pretty tough time and I know I still need a bit more help but I have am truly happier because I have many things planned ahead like meeting certain people and doing some concerts and I will... I will have to move."
You sit there knowing you don't want him to leave but you know you need to push those emotions aside to continue helping Sean.
You ask "When are you moving?"
"In a few days"
"Could you possibly make another appointment by chance?"
"Maybe... why?"
"There's something I need to tell you"
"Why don't you tell me now?"
"There are reasons, I promise I will tell you if you make another appointment"
"How about in two days"
You try to hurriedly check without making it obvious you are rushing. You reply "Perfect"
He slightly smiles even though he's devasted. You breakingly say
"You deserve this next step in your life, don't worry about me"
"I know but-"
"Stop Sean what have I been telling you"
"That I need to focus on myself then I can help others"
"Exactly. But know that is still a very sweet aspect of your personality"
He then slightly brightens up, which is so adorable when he does so.
You can't believe that Jack has progressed so much in such a short time, you feel so proud yet sad but you snap back into reality as you see Sean starting to tear not knowing why.
"Sorry Y/N, I was just *sighs* I know I never mention this but even though when I first came here and was depressed I realised that when I first started my job. I was even more depressed. I just didn't want to admit it to myself."
"Well thank you for mentioning it. It good progress that you have realised this on your own."
"True, I never thought of it like that" Sean then smiles which gives you the brightness of a billion-watt lightbulb.
~~Time Skip~~
You watch as Jack leaves your office then the second the door is fully closed you start to tear up. Why does Sean have to move so quickly... I... I don't know why I am feeling this way or even how I am feeling. More importantly, why is Sean always so nice, no matter how sad he himself is.
You remember how when someone you hadn't recognised came in (Sean) and when you look at your hand which had their hand on top of yours. You knew you should move or have flinched but it just felt right. You felt your heart race, you became a bit dizzy, you started to breathe more intensely, you felt overwhelmed with fear, slight happiness, stress and mostly confusion.
If he sparked these certain types of emotions, my Dishabiliophobia and that nightmare that then means I thought of him with me NAKED. So that means one thing that...
that I am in love with him?!
Your heart races at the thought of this, so it really is true.
You feel you can't keep these emotions within you so you write them down on a sheet in a drawer.
~~~ Time Skip ~~~
You go home and check the youtube page but to your surprise, there was no video. You then wonder why Jack hasn't uploaded, was it because he was moving?? Well most likely. Then you realise if Jack/Sean is going, then you might as well get him a gift. Something that will remind him no matter what you are feeling that you have achieved a lot and you will achieve a heap more. You get the only Sam eye you own and a miniature Irish cap and sowed PMA onto it then sow the cap onto the mini Sam.
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You started to realise that he talks about PMA not just in his videos but also to you. It was his cute little slogan, I like the design of the symbol a lot. So you thought it was very fitting.
You just hope you have the courage to tell him about your feelings and give him his gift before it's too late. You just wished that Sean could stay even just a tiny bit longer. The best you can do is hope his next therapist can help him through his tough time. Although you feared Sean leaving your life you knew it was for the better.
