Better Now {suigeneris}

\/18\/bathtub\/

"Get our my fucking room!" I yelled at hayleen . "Um no" she said back with a bitch who do you think your talking to face . " Landon!" I yelled out my door. "What!" He yelled back " get this bitch out my room!" I yelled back  I heard Landon groan before walking up the stairs to see what the hell was going on. "How the fuck did you get in here hayleen? And this is her room you gotta get out of here" Landon said "fine then  she said as she grabbed her daughters arm and dragged her out the whole ass house okay that works too. I laughed a little bit before  going into my bathroom and turning on the water to the bathtub  I needed a nice bath.  I lit a few candles. Before pulling out  my vanilla bubble bath. Yeah bubble bath bitch. I  put one of my bathing suits (i do this all the time bc my family's real rude and our bathroom is in the middle of the house and you have to walk threw it to get to the kitchen)  I poured some of the bubble bath in the tub and turned the jets on so it would mix it up real well  and hopped in the bath  I grabbed my phone and scrolled threw Instagram  after a while I got bored and went live. "Hey bitches" I smiled  I kept getting  questions about me being in my bathtub "yeah I'm in my bathtub but I have a bathing suit on so we're good. I then heard. Suie and malu arguing and a door slam... she left about 5 minutes later suie knocked on my bathroom door " imma end the live guys but I'll start another one later" I said as I ended the live "is it safe to come in?" He asked I replied with a. Simple yes as he opened the door and sat down on the stool I had in here. "What's wrong kid?" I asked him he just frowned. " idk she's just so confusing one minute she's my girlfriend the next she's threw with me. Then she calls me up later wanting everything to be okay. She's just ugh!!" He groaned now getting frustrated with that fact that this keeps happening.

~2 months later~
{trying to get a lil caught up with my life bc it's sorta based off a lot of shit going on in my life}

[At the moment suie is staying with his family and he's still with malu] :: oh and this is based off a real conversation::

Suie: hey💕

Liv✨:  hey 👋🏽

Suie: so wyd?

Liv✨: oh nothing really. Hbu?

Suie: nothing really just thinking.

Liv✨: about?

Suie: what I want. I sorta wanna break up with my girlfriend . It's like I love her. But  sometimes I feel like I care about our relationship way more

Liv✨: if that's the situation I'd be out of that relationship

Suie: I like you    seen by liv✨

Liv✨ is typing...

Suie deleted the message " I like you"
Suie: u there?

Liv✨:yeah

Suie: wyd?

Liv✨: nothing hbu?

Suie: think about stuff.
Suie: you surprised 😂

Liv✨: what kind of stuff?
Suie: what I want.

Liv✨: oh

Suie hbu?
Suie: how do you feel about me?

Liv✨: I like you

Suie: fr?

Liv✨: for real

Suie: fr fr? 💕

Liv✨: fr fr

Suie: how long?

Liv✨: when we were shooting  cashing out I sorta grew feelings

Suie: your pretty cute so🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

Liv✨: aw thanks

The conversation went on but let's not talk about that  nothing nasty. But it's just. Yeah a lot. 

~few days later~

Let you go just dropped two days ago  malu had tried to kill herself a couple days before we had that conversation. Everyone was worried about Suie. Something was off after that conversation he sorta just cut me off we would talk every day but now it's like  weird  I was scrolling threw Instagram and I checked Lucid's story  there was a video of Suie being stupid in an adorable way and it said "pray for this kid some shit happened he's not doing so well"  it was midnight Landon and skies were at a show I was home alone. Rain was with skies mom. I dmed lucid

Liv✨: what's up with Suie?

Lucid🥶: he took a bunch of pills.

Liv✨: oh... he's in my prayers.

I tried to keep my calm but just broke down  I sobbed loudly into my pillow  for a bout an hour until I heard Landon walking up the stairs I  The stopped hoping he hadn't heard me already. There was a knock on my door "Olivia you good?" He had asked I just continued to cry  I couldn't stop this was the boy who I liked he was also my best friend. Landon had walked into my room at this point I just continued to sob the thought of losing him hurt me. I wouldn't know what to do with my life. After a while of crying I fell asleep. I woke up the next day feeling light headed  I walked down stairs and sat at counter  there was Oreo balls on the counter (those things are amazing🤤) I popped a few into my mouth. As  my mom walked into the kitchen "hey sweetie..." she said "oh hey mom." I replied as I popped another two into my mouth "we need to talk.... you see me and your father are getting a divorce" she said "oh.... okay" I said and just walked upstairs to my studio I worked on the crybaby album so I could drop it later.  I pulled out the blunt I had rolled  sometime yesterday I lit it and took a hit.  I didn't feel any emotion it was like nothing fazed me  I felt bland...boring... bored. Julius was in the hospital and it was like I couldn't give a shit. My mom just told me her and my dad are getting a divorce but still I felt nothing..... Numb I felt numb.

Numb; unable to think, feel, or respond normally
"The tragic events left us shocked and numb"