facade (bryler)

confession (V)

when brendon woke up in the morning his head was spinning. he had the most awful night in a while and his whole body was aching. its no secret. he cried again. his head was wrapped around Tyler tightly and wouldn't let go. he was overthinking and his mind wouldn't let him sleep. a few minutes after he woke up his alarm went off. he was so done.

as he moved his torso up his spine was cracking all the way up. it was a painful and at the same time relieving feeling. he swung his legs over the edge of his bed and stood up. the floor was feeling cold when he dragged his bare feet over it towards the bathroom. there he went on with his daily routine. every day for him was the same.

usually he got up cleaned himself in the bathroom, went to school, avoided anyone he could when he wasnt making a scene for the class, had a few panic attacks in the bathroom and after got home, probably jerked off and went to sleep. that was his normal day. but now his days went on different. thanks to Tyler.

tyler.

he was going to pick him up soon. god was brendon scared. Tyler was so weird yesterday. so cold and distant. obviously the fact that brendon was gay threw him off. did he really befriend a homophobe? if that doesn't change he might have to give it up. what a shame.

when he got dressed he, like always, didnt even look at what he took out of his closet. he didnt care as long as his leather jacket covered up the probably ugly shirt he was wearing.

it took him about 10 minutes to get ready. by the time he was slipping on his shoes his phone lit up. it was Tyler just telling him to come out. brendon sighed. he was ready but at the same time he wasnt at all.

after he gathered everything he stepped to the front door. he could feel his chest tightening and his breaths getting heavier. this wasnt okay. it wasnt fair towards him. all brendon wanted was being a friend to Tyler. not even more. but the fact that he's gay had to ruin everything like that? he didnt understand.

finally he gave in. after about 5 more minutes he opened the front door to see Tylers car with, not surprisingly, Tyler sitting inside. his eyes were trained forward and there was loud music playing. not loud enough to disturb anybody. but it was hearable.

Tyler looked at him as soon as brendon opened the door. "morning" he said shyly as he sat down in the passenger seat. it stood in the air for a couple moments until he replied with a mumble "mornin".

brendon didnt like this. at all. it was cold.

Tyler started the car and drove off towards the school.

➳

after a torturous car ride that felt like forever they arrived at school. Tylers mind was running just as brendons. he wanted to say something but couldn't bring himself to open his mouth. it was all so scary. he was scared. and he didnt understand of what himself.

as soon as the car stopped brendon rushed out a thanks and hopped out. he basically ran to school. Tyler felt his heart drop. did he scare brendon? did he push him away so far he had to flee from him?

sigh

he needed to talk to him eventually. after a few minutes he got out of the car and headed into school as well.

➳

the day went by slowly. way too slowly. all day brendon avoided Tyler, but he knew he couldn't forever.

after his last class brendon was in the bathroom stall, like always, he had a panic attack. usually he was never sure what caused his anxiety but this time it was obvious. it was Tyler. every time they crossed ways Tyler glanced but didnt really look. he gave him a quick blink and brendon was fast to change his direction. maybe too obvious, but that didnt matter. Tyler should feel guilty. he made brendon feel like this. he made him cry.