Out of Character [Perth/Saint]

Chapter 3 - Ourselves

"P' Saint, can I kiss you?"
The question was as straight as an arrow. It pierces through the older boy's heart, striking his defense.

When he looks at the person in front of him, there's no trance of joke there. All he sees are hope, worry, and a faint of something that he thinks as affection.
But... does he really mean it?

Saint goes silent, while Perth keeps observing to catch a glimpse of hope that Saint will eventually respond.

After a moment of silence and seeing no reaction from Saint, Perth took it as a 'yes' before decided to make his move.

Without warning he reached out to the other's nape and planted a kiss on those parted lips. The position might not be the best because Perth grabbed Saint's nape so the older needs to bend down to match his level. But it doesn't make him less comfortable.

However, as Perth tries to savor his lips, tasting the sweetest sweet he's ever had in his entire life, he senses that the latter didn't even respond to his kiss. Saint didn't push him away or refuse his now advance movement when his tongue nibbled on his lips, trying to deepen the kiss.

He has read the novel numerous times when he learned how to act as Ae. The kisses Ae gave to Pete were mostly involved tongues, which is what Perth trying to do at the moment. He’s trying to catch Saint's attention to kiss him back by using what he calls as "Ae's technique".

But before his tongue can explore Saint's warm mouth, Saint grabs his cheeks and gives a gap between the two. Their breathings are still rough from the kiss, and none of them are uttering a word to break the silence.

Perth starts to feel worried when he actually can't read Saint's facial expression right now. His Phi still put his hands on his cheeks, looking at him with unexplainable gaze.

Perth gulps down the lump in his throat, suddenly feels somewhat thirsty. The silence isn't what Perth expected.

"P-Phi..." he calls softly, yet the latter doesn't seem to have desire to answer him.

"Are you mad at me?" Perth tries his second chance to ask.
Saint lets out a deep sigh, firmly cupping Perth's face on his hands.

"I.. I think it's better that we don't meet each other for a while."

Is it a rejection?

Perth was left dumbfounded with the answer. He needs an explanation as why is it better not to meet each other?!

"Phi... I.. We.. we can't. Our schedules are fully packed." Perth tries to argue, giving the most rational reason for them to meet in the meantime.

"That's for work." Saint replied, seems uncertain with his own answer.

"So you're still willing to work with me?"

"We can't just stop working together."

A hope.

Even though Saint has set his boundaries, Perth still sees it as a chance. A tiny piece of hope is there, between the lines created by Saint.

Perth doesn't know how to feel right at the moment. The rejection doesn't sound like one. But it’s also clearly not an acceptance. It feels like as if he pushes a locked door a bit harder, it might be broken after a few trials.

Maybe..

Maybe he needs to show his Phi that they have fallen for each other. And maybe, he will be able to convince his P’ Saint that he really likes him as himself, not because of Ae's remaining feeling for Pete. And the important thing is to convince his own self, to make some pieces of doubt inside his heart disappear.