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Fated Lovers

Fated Lovers: Kaluwalhatian Chronicles Book 1 by -IndieWriter-

Critique language: Filipino-English
Date posted: 29th January, 2019

Warning: You may or may not like what you are about to read. Nonetheless, I don't give a flying fig about it. Not only once did I warn you. Sorry, not sorry.

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Fated Lovers is definitely not a trash.

I see why the author dared to enter her story despite my spicy welcoming words at the beginning. She is confident. She knows what she is doing. She knows that her writing is good.

At first read, it sounds like those classical Filipino stories. Sa prologue, unti unting ni-rereveal kung anong nangyayari sa eksena. Hindi info-dumping. Sakto lang para ma-imagine ng readers ang settings.  The narration, although in long paragraphs, is not boring. Kadalasan inaantok ako kapag mahaba, but the author made sure that every word counts.

The reason why the first chapter get me to continue reading is because, as a reader, the story effectively made me care about whatever is happening to Fate. But I think that is because the author hinted on the Casts of Characters part that Fate and Maganda are one person. Without that, maybe I would be confused at first.

Making the readers care right away about the character is very important. Without even the slightest care, wapakels ang readers sa kung anumang ka-shitan ang nangyayari sa buhay ng characters. Tanong ko lang, kapag ba wala ang casts of characters part, mauunawaan/ma-gets pa rin kaya ng readers ang gustong iparating ni author? Hmm. That's for the author to figure out.

As I read the first chapter, questions pop on my head: Why does Fate have to kill Henry? And from what I remember, she stabbed him in the chest but why didn't Amanikable die? Chapter two gave me answers.

The second chapter mentioned that Fate didn't kill him because death is a very light punishment for what he did. She wants her to suffer and I freaking like that part cuz I love reading stories that involves hurting boys.

The author has a good choice of words. Gumamit siya ng formal Filipino at napanindigan sa lahat ng chapters. That is what makes her story effective.

It also has a slice of humor. The fact that the mood of the story is serious, inserting funny scenes makes it more funny. When Fate knew that it's Sitan disguising as Eric and Arabella calling Berberoka 'Barbie.' Kahit formal at malalalim ang ginamit niyang words, hindi ako inantok.

I also love that the author added definition to unfamiliar words at the end of the chapters. Nakakatalino ang kwentong 'to.

I thought I would be disappointed cuz the story's genre is Fantasy yet it focused more on the romantic development of Fate and Henry. As I read further, I realized it's more than just romance. With the characters Arabella and Sitan, para akong bumalik sa panahong hindi pa sinakop ng mga Espanyol ang Pilipinas. Nakita ko kung anong klaseng buhay sana ang mayroon tayo ngayon kung hindi dumating ang mga dayuhan.

Regarding the title, Fated Lovers, it sounds common and generic but because of the words next to it—Kaluwalhatian—it gives that historical vibe.

I have no problem with the characters. Sitan is my favorite, by the way. I just don't get how he is the bathala ng kasamaan at dyos ng kamatayan but has this playful side. I still love his personality anyway! I am thinking maybe that is a plot device that the author can use in the coming chapters or some sort of plot twist at the end.

The technicalities... Like I said, the author knows what she is doing. I appreciate that she observed proper usage of commas especially when there's a direct address to someone. Hindi rin siya naging pabaya sa paglagay ng comma bago ang quotation mark kapag dialogue tag ang kasunod.

However, here is the hurtful truth.

Fated Lovers is a fucking worth-reading story. Pero hindi ito masyadong dinadagsa ng mga readers dahil konti na lang ngayon ang interesado sa Philippine Mythology. Bilang lang ang mga Pilipinong mahal ang sariling atin. Nasaan ang mga Pilipinong kabataan ngayon? Ayon. Saranghae, oppa.

But nah. Reads doesn't really matter. It shouldn't matter. You don't need millions of reads para malaman ang worth ng story. Personally, I don't read popular stories (unless subok ko na ang author) kasi kadalasan overrated ang mga 'yon. Nakaka-disappoint. 'Yon 'yung masasabi kong waste of time.

Fated Lovers, on the other hand, just needs proofreading and then it would be perfect. An undiscovered gem, indeed.

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Siren's Message:

-IndieWriter-, anong ginagawa mo, 'teh? Ba't nasa Wattpad ka pa rin? You deserve to be a published author. Magpasa ka kaya ng manuscript? Go!

I meant everything I said. Pinuri kita cuz you deserve it.

Kung meron man dito sa inyo ang inaakalang makakatanggap rin ng puri, aba, isipin n'yo muna kung kapuri-puri ba ang gawa n'yo.