Because You're Different ✔

15. Mamma Mia

June

I was leaning against the doorframe, watching Nathan from a distance. I had left Valentina alone, asleep in my bed. Weird, how quickly you could forget the way someone looked. Especially now she was sleeping, blankets drawn high up to her chin, curls spread out all over her pillow. That crease in her brow, as if she was perpetually thinking in her dreams. I remembered gazing up at her in awe when I was younger, believing no one was stronger than her. I knew better now.

I hadn't been able to sleep, even though I was tired as hell. She probably didn't realize it, but her teasing had stirred something inside of me, and now I didn't know how to calm it down.

Nathan. How he was sitting there on the couch, laptop in his lap, stacks of paper surrounding him. His blonde hair tucked behind his ears, lips moving slightly as his blue eyes raced over the pages. His fingers sped over the keyboard — there was always something calming about his hands, steady and strong.

Was I really in love with him?

I couldn't be, could I? Sure, he had some magical effect on my stomach and sometimes my heart, but that was just because he was handsome, right?

Oh please, June, don't be in love with a guy who's four years older than you. Just don't.

But as I was standing there, studying all of him, smiling when he cursed at the laptop and ran his hands through his hair, it was impossible to deny it.

I was in love with him.

In that moment, it didn't really matter. It wasn't like it changed anything, or that I had to do something about it right then and there.

I was too young. I was Sam's friend. Maybe, though, if I waited a year or three, it all wouldn't matter that much anymore. I could fall out of love, for all I knew, or he could fall into it. Until then, I just had to be satisfied with being friends, and that wasn't all that hard.

Slowly, I entered the room, smiling when he looked up, and those ocean blue eyes met my brown ones. "You still working?"

He sighed, then nodded and stretched himself. "I thought you'd be asleep."

"I thought so too." He moved one of the stacks so I could sit down, and a warm feeling spread through me as I curled up beside him, a little closer than I usually would. "Why aren't you asleep, though? It's Saturday morning. Plenty of weekend left."

"Yeah... I just wanted to have this finished before your birthday. The hearing is in a couple of weeks, and I want to be able to concentrate on it fully."

"You've been pretty serious about your studies all of a sudden."

He fell quiet, frown in his forehead. "Yeah, well," he eventually said, "I thought it was about time, right? To take some responsibility? There weren't any excuses left except 'I hate it', and that didn't sound like an excuse at all."

"Already thinking like a true lawyer."

He huffed, scrolling through the pages of his word doc as if he was searching for something. I watched him, which somehow wasn't conspicuous at this time of night. There was something deeply satisfying about hearing the taps on the keyboard and seeing his eyes moving up and down.

After a while, he noticed me staring. "Something wrong?"

"Yeah," I said. "I haven't even thanked you yet."

A small smile, almost shy, and for the first time, I saw Sam in him. "You don't have to. I'm just glad you liked it."

"I do have to thank you. You and Sam flew Valentina all the way across the country, just because I'm turning fifteen."