Because You're Different ✔

51. Power

Nathan

June was barely talking to me. According to Sam, she was barely talking to anyone these days, being consumed by homework and the internship she was doing at some tech company known for their photo filter app. It was a big deal that she'd gotten it, and I knew she was giving it all she had, because that was who she was. From the few things my brother remembered to tell me, I figured out that this really was a great opportunity for her. They didn't send her around fixing coffee, which would've been pointless in her case anyway, no, they let her assist on keeping their social media pages up to date, taught her about the structure of the business, and had her writing bits and pieces of code. Yet, I couldn't help but be concerned she was going to burn out.

June was strong and enthusiastic and passionate. That didn't take away the fact she was disabled and that things cost her more energy than it did an able-bodied person. She was at school from eight till two and at the company every day from two-thirty till nine, Monday through Friday. Then, when she got home, she would do her homework, sometimes until deep into the night, judging by the fact she was frequently online at ten am London time. So yeah, considering all that, I had every reason to be worried. Sam told me to chill and that she was fine. Yeah, well, I was going to have to see that with my own eyes first.

She wasn't posting anything on Instagram anymore and scarcely picked up the phone whenever I called her. As a consequence, I sometimes found myself reading back the messages I'd received from her over the years, ranging from "we're out of milk", to "can you pick me up?", "this song is gold!" and "didn't know politeness was time-bound". By now, I was probably able to recite every single poem she'd sent me this summer, and there were seventeen of them.

One evening in the pub, Albert had caught me staring at the one about the eagles. He'd raised his eyebrows at me, the rest of his face as emotionless as ever. "That good?"

I'd felt foolish. How many times had he noticed me scrolling through the texts? What must he be thinking of me, stalking a sixteen-year-old girl like I was some sort of creep?

But I couldn't help myself.

At least, she hadn't forgotten about me completely. In every picture Hayley posted of the two of them, she was wearing the ring, as green as always. Sam was there too sometimes, awkwardly squinting at the camera, even taller than he'd been when I left. I wondered, when we returned to California for Christmas, would it turn out he'd outgrown me? I had the idea my brother was still expecting to find me back at the doorstep at any moment; his usual answer to a question, if he remembered to give me one, was "you'll see when you get home".

The nearer we got to that moment, the more I seemed to long for it, until I found myself spacing out during a dinner with Mr. and Mrs. Rutherford one November evening, wondering if June would have another recipe card for me, and what would be on it.

"Nathan? Nathan, are you alright?"

Charlotte had taken my hand, smiling at me. She looked like royalty again, in a long dress, laden with glittering jewelry. I couldn't recall the last time I'd seen her in a simple pair of pants. Her father was watching me with an amused smile, her mother was scanning me like I was an interesting piece of art in one of their galleries, and her cousin Edward's eyes were hooked on me like a hawk. "Err, yeah, sorry. Was thinking about the Brisco case."

"See, Edward," Mr. Rutherford said. "This is a man with proper work ethics."

Great. He should stop giving me compliments, because for one, I didn't deserve them, and two, Edward already hated me enough to begin with. I didn't care that he did, but he was spreading more and more lies about me, constantly putting me on the spot by asking me questions in front of others from which he knew I didn't know the answer to, and it was starting to take its toll on Charlotte.