Unheavenly Creatures

-22-

Her words made my world feel like it was crashing down around me. Like the life I lived until now was a a building quickly crumbling into water and the truth spilling from her lips was the breath of air when I broke the surface. 

I looked into those golden eyes, the ones I used to have too and I tried to let my hate melt away, to turn something different, something that didn't make me sick, so unhappy I hated everything including myself.

"She's right. You've had far too much power over my life and feelings that you don't deserve. You made me feel insignificant and I always wanted to hurt you for that, make you feel what you did to me. But you don't matter, you don't fucking matter! My whole life has been wasted on you. All my efforts and emotions, solely for you. And you never gave damn! Never." I don't know when the tears started to stream down my cheeks but I swipe them away furiously while I look away. "The police will be here soon I'm sure. They'll let you down. We're leaving, and if you've ever cared about me at all, you'll let us. You won't try to stop me with your words or by telling the cops anything, you'll let us walk out of here and out of your life like you did me all those years ago. I deserve to find my happiness too. If you're really sorry like you've said, you'll let me leave me like I never fucking existed."

I feel raw, exhausted, splayed wide open with every feeling I've got on display for the world, but for the first time in a long time I also feel alive. Telling my brother he had no power over me anymore lifted a weight I had no idea was crushing me. I feel exhilarated and...

Free.

I feel free.

I smile a smile I've never felt on my face before. I didn't need revenge, I needed to let go. My eyes seek her out and her smile makes my heart speed up. I take her into my arms and laugh into the crook of her neck. I breathe her in, the first breath of my new life. Our new life.

My hand holds hers firmly. "Let's go make each other happy."

She guides me up the stairs and if my brother tries to say anything, we don't hear it. I look down at his glasses tossed near the couch and it feels so foreign to me to be filled with rage just from the sight of them. Following Rika's plan could never make me happy, it's sad how long it took me to realize that. Being free makes me happy. 

Being able to give myself, all of me, with no hate clouding my heart makes me happy. Being hers makes me happy. 

This is what I was searching for.

We get in to the car, the funds from Mint Eye heavy in my pocket, enough to give us a life far away. Better with us than in a police evidence room. The setting sun looks like hope and as we drive towards it I watch the colours paint her face. She smiles at me again and I know without a doubt this is exactly what I was searching for.