Tf2 Oneshots

The BONK!ETTE {Scout x tiny/energetic Reader}

"bWAHAHAH!!" I yelled swinging my sledgehammer around aimlessly. Knocking off heads, arms..dicks. I love my job!

"Match over; RED Team wins, Y/n, you can stop now.." I froze, hearing my name and groans and cheers from around the battlefield. I fist pumped the air.

"Alroight ankle boita! You dun' pissed on 'em all!" Sniper cheered offering me a high five.

"Did you even wash your HANDS?! nO?! YA' SICKO!!" I punched Snipers back. We rough house from time to time. "Sorrrryyyyy, ya' rotten 'kiwi', I only accept high fives from the best, get on my level!" I threw myself on him and climbed him just to pinch his cheeks.

He chuckled. "Oi wouldn't exactly call Scout the best." I froze, turned around.

"What is this blasphemy you speak of? You and I both know, that's not true." I scoffed.

"I heard my name-I know, I'm just that interestin'!" He said flexing one of his 'muscles' I stared in awe while Sniper rolled his eyes.

"Here ya' go, Y/n. Only for you Bonkette." He winked.

"Oh please" I snatched the drink(like my weave) "YOU ARE THE BONKETTE!!!" I screeched, chugging the BONK! Like it was water in a desert. I finished and burped.

He stared in awe. "Uh I mean- ye' sure Doll but can ya' do-" he grabbed two BONK!'s. "this?" He opened one and chugged it, then did the same with the other. He let out a loud ass burp.

"HAH!! YOU SUCK!!" I grabbed two cans of BONK! And opened both of them, chugging both of them at the same time. He stared with wide eyes

"O-Oh ye'?! Well, YOU HAVE SMALL TITS!?" He argued. I stopped chugging and stared at him with a blank face. I took the can and crushed them between my boobs.

"HOW'S THAT FOR TITS, SMALL GUY?! HAHAH!!" I was hysterical.

"Shoosh! I am trying to read ze newspapeughr! (Legit French accents guys👌)"

"SHUT UP SNAIL MAN!!" We said at the same time.

"Well, small tits make up for a small dick!" Scout thought for a minute. He grabbed my arms and got so close to me.

"Well, I could show you how-" he chuckled. " 'small' my dick i-" I slapped him with a huge blush on my face. I turned away trying to walk away.

He pulled me back around and kissed me, his lips were kind of chapped and he kind of sucked at kissing.

We pulled away and I 'bout freaked out.

"eeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" I screamed.

"Would ya' go out with me? I-I have the hots for you, Doll.."

"I will as long as you admit you're the BONK!ETTE..."

Wolfixtrashboi